Chubby Toes

Chocolate

2010-10-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

Ok...I have fallen to a new low! I tried really hard to not eat Halloween candy so I didn't buy any chocolate. Sounds like a good idea but as the night went on I wanted chocolate so bad I bribed a trick or treater with three pieces of our candy for just one piece of chocolate candy from his bag. Best Baby Ruth I ever had!

Here we go!

2010-10-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Well, Day One is upon me! Had a 275 calorie protein shake for breakfast. Just starting to realize that I am hungry.

Meanwhile got my hair cut and did my Costco grocery shopping. Yeah I am glad that is done! Now I am gonna be busy making meat sauce and bagging it for future use and cooking some whole chickens for different recipes as well. That should give us a good start on the month.

Well I should go fix me a salad or something else for lunch and get busy. See ya!

Last day for church cookies

2010-10-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yep my church can be a contributor to my delinquency on eating healthy...they have cookies! And good ones too! And today they had donuts too!

I indulged today like an alcoholic does the day before he goes into forced rehab! Well, not that bad! Not sure if I really wanted the cookies or if I wanted them because I knew I couldn't have them after today. This is why I don't like to DIET! This is also why I WON'T DIET! If I really have to have a cookie, I will have one and simply count the calories.

And the real reason I had a cookie today...because it seemed like a freebie! I told myself that I am not being good until tomorrow. I think I need to get out of that mind set. I will work on that one!

Ok so I have been thinking...

2010-10-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

I know it is a scary thing for me, but here goes!

I need a new beginning so I will feel all past descretians have been forgotten and forgiven. I realize that I only get that with the Lord, but why can't it apply to my eating and quest for health as well? I think it can.

I know that the way I have been eating is sinful on so many levels so it is time to do something about it again.

Step One... Admit that I need an intervention!

I lost 45 pounds, took a vacation and gained back 7-10 pounds. I stayed there all summer. Due to an illness and the resulting prednisone use my pseudo tumor cerebri flared up again and I have another 10-15 pounds of fluid on top of the 7-10 I gained back. I know I need a total commitment now.

Step Two... Make a plan.

I have done the best when I am tracking my calories and eating all my fruits and veggies. The Jorge Cruz "Belly Fat Cure" was very interesting to me. I did learn alot from it, but I didn't lose as well on it. I will incorporate what I learned to my plan tho and will be watching my "hidden sugar" as well as caloric count. I will be choosing whole foods as much as I can without driving myself crazy. I know my daily caloric intake so I am good to go there.

Ask God (daily) to help me to make wise decisions concerning the food I put into my body and to help me to start taking better care of this body he gave me

keep a food diary
track my calories
drink atleast 64 oz. water daily
absolutely no pop!!!
take vitamins & ptc meds daily
complex carbs/balanced with protein
weigh once a week and take measurements once a month
cook or prepare foods at home

collect low cal healthy recipes
try new recipes
put together recipes for cook once and freeze for month

exercise in pool atleast twice a week

write letter and get papers together for membership at fitness center
plan atleast two days pool time
get a better suit to wear

be more active on days I don't swim

Step Three...Develop a support team.people to call when feeling weak or discouraged/depressed

people who I can email for encouragement
people who I can exercise with
people who will come over when I need a kick in the butt
people who encourage me by leaving a comment on my blog
people who will pray for me

Well, that is good enough for a start! I will update my blog on Monday morning with my starting weight. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Still aive...I think!

2010-10-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

Yep, if anybody out there still cares...I am still around!

This must be one of "those seasons" for all the weightloss blogs and my old pals that battle this demon! What I mean is, most all of my favorite bloggers and friends have not posted in as long or longer than I have. I have not given up! And I hope they have not either!

It seems like none of us are actively fighting the weightloss battle at the present time. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Like me, I quit fighting about May sometime. I put on 7 pounds and have stayed there all summer. Now that it is starting on the hibernation time I know I need to start thinking about getting back at it.

Unfortunately thinking is about all I am doing at this point. My knees and hip are hurting right now and any kind of movement is not a fun option. I am having trouble sleeping with this as well. And as far as eating goes, I am just trying to watch the portions right now as we have my granddaughter and her fiance living with us for awhile and our diet has been modified to accommodate two other people. We don't always share our meals but even still there are fattening foods being cooked and eaten and I have no willpower. If everybody is snacking, then why can't I?

I will try to get back at it soon. I need to get my pseudo tumor cerebri under control tho first as I am carrying about 10-15 pounds of extra fluid ever since I had to take prednisone for 3 days.

I miss hearing from everyone and seeing how you are all doing. It gets me motivated. Maybe we can help each other? Take care all!

Week Two

2010-05-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not 4 pounds but I still lost 2 pounds and another inch in my waist! That is 6.5 pounds and 2" in my waist in two weeks . I am still happy. It's not hard to stay on and I am not hungry.

My really good news came last night and this morning when my husband replaced the battery in my diabetes meter. I took my blood sugar two hours after dinner last night and it should read 120 or below for a normal reading. Mine was 119. Then this morning fasting was 98 and it was supposed to be under 100. Yippee! But then when I took it two ours after breakfast, I got a real surprise...It should have been below 120 and it was only 89. I am so excited that I am controlling my blood sugar without meds...woohoo!

Hi all!

2010-05-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long. I did my knee in again. Been down with that quite a bit. I think I walked too much too soon. From the last time I posted I walked for 3-4 more days after that and it has hurt ever since...Arggghhh!

My weight was going up and down...just kinda bouncing around for a couple weeks too. Frustrating!

I talked to a friend of mine who was just starting the Belly Fat Cure lifestyle and she has been stuck for a long time. It promises 4-7 pounds in the first week. (she had already lost 4 pounds in 5 days) Yeah Diane!

Then I went grocery shopping at Costco and as I was checking out the books, as I always do, (don't you?) well anyway, there was the book by Jorge Cruise. I thumbed thru it and there is lots of recipes with great pictures (I'm a sucker for the pictures). Of course it hopped into my cart.

This is my second week and I lost 4 1/2 pounds the first week & a half an inch in my waist. So far this week I have lost 1 1/2 pounds. I am finally down 30 pounds. Since I quit work last September I have lost 45 pounds. I don't usually count the first 15 as it was mostly fluid buildup but I am encouraged anyway.

Now that I have made that goal (30 pounds) it is off to my next goal which is just two pounds away. Then I will be back to what I weighed when I got pregnant with my youngest son. Unfortunately, my body really likes that weight, so I need to make sure that I keep pushing to get past that!

Hope you are all having a good week and I will try to post more often. (like there are people actually reading this--makes me feel better thinking that there might be!)

Picture it...little fat mamma and little fat doxie...both of them huffin' and puffin'!

2010-04-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

Just got back from taking my little fat (matronly) doxie for a walk. Felt like it should be a couple miles, but I knew it wasn't even a mile. It was so nice outside just had to get out in it. Now we will see how my knee deals with it!

Small victories!

2010-04-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life we just need to celebrate the small victories. These are usually the things no one else knows about or even can tell when it is standing all by itself, BUT...if you put enough of these together they really add up and get noticed in a big way.

Today I had one of those small victories. I have this very springy (is that even a word?) yellow top, it buttons down the front and I have always worn it open with a tank. A few weeks ago I didn't have a tank clean to wear under it or atleast not one that went with what I was wearing so I tried it buttoned. Well...that didn't work and it got thrown in the bottom of my closet in disgust. How many mornings have we tried on everything in our closet trying to find something different to wear cuz we are really tired of the same few pieces of fat clothes that actually fit.

And then this morning, it was so sunny and nice out, I wanted to reflect the way the sun was making me feel...so I tried the yellow top again (buttoned) and yes...I washed it and it was hanging neatly taunting me. Guess what? It fit, and it didn't even gap or anything! And I got compliments on it at church too!

Ok, so now the yellow top gets to move to the center of my closet instead of being stuck on the left side. That's where the tight or snug stuff goes! My sunny day just got a little brighter!

Hope you have a sunny day too!

Must be doing something right!

2010-04-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

I lost another two pounds! I actually am beginning to think that I can do this.

I am not dieting. D-I-E-T is a bad word! I am really trying to make a life change here. I am keeping track of my calories most of the time until I can do it on auto pilot. Alot of the foods that I eat, I can do that with, but I'll tell ya you can really get into trouble if you take advantage of that too much. It can creep up on you.

I bought the cutest little bamboo bowls from Pampered Chef. They are snack bowls and they hold 1 1/2 cups. They are perfect for my 1 cup serving size of the foods that I eat. It keeps me honest. Now I just need to find adorable little plates in a small size to eat on.

I thought I knew so much about dieting and what I am supposed to do and not supposed to do, I have been doing it since...well...forever! But I have learned sooooo much from the Biggest Loser "6 Weeks to a Healthier You". It is such a good book. Not just dieting and exercise and recipes, although it has all that too, but also on different health issues and what you need to be eating to prevent or turn those conditions around. I highly recommend it.

10%

2010-04-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

Woohoo...I did it! Lost 10 % of my starting weight! Wow I love making a goal.

Next goal -- 30 pounds lost (4 more)

One step after another... all the way to the finish line!

Wow!

2010-04-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

25 down and 87 to go! That sure sounds daunting, doesn't it?

I think I will just enjoy the 25 pound loss! And happily get rid of the clothes that are now too baggy to be comfortable! Yippee!

Happy Day!

2010-04-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

Not only did I finally get back to 239 and kept it there, but this morning I was at 238! Woohoo! I am finally heading towards my next goal which is to lose 10% of my body weight. That is at 236...two pounds to go! Yippee! Then my next goal is 230. That was my weight when I got pregnant with my last baby, some 31 years ago! I have seen it a couple times since then but never stayed long. I once got down to 204 and another time to 212, but could never break the 200 mark. The 230 will be a good launching point for me. Wish me luck!

Just 37 Days!

2010-03-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's all it took me to get back to where I was when I left on vacation! It was so not worth it. I mean there is not much you can do when you are staying with someone else, but the couple of regular root beers I did have a choice on. And maybe I could have done better on the way home when I gave up and had a couple cookies and a sandwich (white bread n cheese) and a couple malt balls etc. But still I only gained 8 pounds. Just for some reason my body has been playing with that same eight pounds ever since. I can't explain it but I don't want to go back either.

I am eating much better now. Better calories, more nutrient rich calories. I mean you can eat all low calorie and still not give your body what it needs to function properly. I am eating enough calories so that my muscles are not being ravaged and I'm really concentrating on getting my veggies fruit and dairy as well as the right amount of protein.

I bought one of the Biggest Loser books and although I thought I knew all these things (from being on a bazillion diets) I really am learning alot. The book is written from the nutritionist on the show and she is really good at explaining everything and letting you know the things that the contestants actually learn, the things we don't see on the show. I am not there yet but now atleast I feel like I CAN eat for my body.

On another note, I have been working on painting trim on my very tall cathedral ceilings in my bedroom. My knee is toast. I wanted to have all the trim done so hubby could just roller and we would be done. Well, that didn't happen. Unfortunately it has proven to be too much for both of us. His back is hurting and my knee is swollen up again. We still have more trim and most of the rollering to do. Blech! I am also doing the master bath. Man I will be glad when it is done. I hope I have not permanetly put my knee over the edge again. I had surgery on it at the end of December to clean it out. The doc said it was only temporary as I need a replacement. It has been so much better. No more ladders for me.

Am I a yo yo?

2010-03-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

Don't answer that! I feel like one. My weight has been bouncing all around the last couple of weeks. As low as 240 (this morning) and up to 248 the end of last week! Geez! It's all making me kinda dizzy!

I have found out that I need to write everything down. I was doing pretty good with estimating in my head but had not been thorough enough to check the calories in everything I was eating. I thought I knew the calories...NOT! I have to admit I was a little surprised at some of it!

So now I am on the straight and narrow. I should just start a journal to keep that not only shows my food intake but also how I am feeling about the struggle of losing weight and all that good stuff. It would probably be beneficial in many ways. So I will think about it!

One of the things I was able to change (positive change), was not eating butter anymore. We learned ion Prism that butter is much better for you than margarine. I believe that still but I think I was having a wee bit too much of it. I finally tried Brummel & Brown spread that is made with yogurt. I really like it and instead of 100 calories it only has 45. I have been meaning to try it for a long time. I should have followed my instincts.

Have a great day all!

Whittling away at it...one pound at a time!

2010-03-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

Can't say my eating has been the greatest and the most healthy. Seems like all that cake (sugar) last week, all I have done is crave it this week. I have eaten everything in sight trying to figure out what it is that I want.

Doesn't that just drive you crazy? Then you finally give up and go to bed feeling totally defeated. Well, defeated or not and as much as I hate that feeling that I am battling, I am down to 241 so lost 5 pounds since Monday. I won't argue, but sure would like to feel better about what I am eating and be more in control.

I feel like I have pretty much lost a month in this weight loss game just trying to get back to where I was on the 20th of February when I left for Oregon at 239. Why do I do this to myself?

Can you believe it?

2010-03-08T10:15:00.000-08:00

Wow, Oregon was great! Had a wonderful time with family. And it was worth all of the eight pounds I gained in just five days. Can you believe it? Some of that was from all the advil I had to take for my knee from the traveling and mostly from getting in and out of the car constantly.

Nevertheless, I was kinda depressed about it. Went back to eating healthy when we got back and lost four pounds. Then this week hit!

We had 4 birthday celebrations this week! And I managed to gain back another three pounds. Yuck! Now I am really depressed! So much for the 230's. Weighed this morning at 246. Ugh! And not helping my mood any is the fact that it is drizzly and dark outside. Doesn't make me want to jump right up and do something. Besides the fact that my knee and the rest of my joints hurt in this weather. Maybe I'll just go back to bed!

Oh Happy Day!

2010-02-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

239...Woohoo! I'm in the 230's, yeah!

And in a couple hours, I am on my way to Oregon with my sister for 5 days of family fun...baptism and a wedding. I suspect I will gain some this week as we will be staying with family and eating what we are served but I am not going to just give up. I will still try to get my water in and watch my portions. I am sure I will get more activity in than I do at home. So hopefully it won't be too bad.

Wish me luck and I will talk to you next Thursday. Bye...

Small Goals

2010-02-15T13:07:00.000-08:00

I just realized how close I am to some of my goals. One more pound and I will officially be in the 230's. Doesn't seem like much til I think that I started in the 260's. Then I only have four more pounds to be at 10% weight loss. Yippee! And then six pounds after that is the weight I was when I got pregnant with my last son. And that was my average weight for 1977. And just 16 months before that I weighed 170 when I got pregnant with my first son. Too bad it doesn't come off as fast as it goes on. That is only 20 pounds over my goal weight. Somehow it doesn't seem as impossible when I look at it that way. Hmmmmm!

Happy Valentines Day!

2010-02-14T09:38:00.000-08:00

I gained two pounds, which I can only imagine was the two large orders of french fries that felt so good to my throat. So instead of totally blowing the whole eating healthy thing (which I would have done before) I just acknowledged that I can't do that, gained my two pounds & went right on like it didn't happen. Now I have lost those two and they took another one with them...Woohoo! 22 pounds total!

And now after this brief message, I am going back to bed to die again! Darn bronchitis! Hope you all have a great Valentines Day! Watch out for those sweet treats!

I'm Sick!

2010-02-12T10:51:00.000-08:00

Boy am I sick....had a sore throat and thought it would be like every other time I get any sign of getting a cold...I wake up dead the next day. I am prone to bronchitis and just don't waste time on colds, just goes straight to my lungs.

This time I was not feeling it, just the sore throat and fever. Go figure, my body was being lazy...it caught up with me. Went to the doc yesterday and was expecting him to just tell me it was a virus...blah blah blah! Not, he said it was bronchitis and lets throw in a sinus infection for good measure. He gave me an anti biotic and cough syrup. Hadn't really been coughing but I took it cuz ya never know when you will be and might need it.

And last night I needed it! Woke up coughing and I think I coughed for 20 minutes straight before I dared to get off the potty and go back to bed. Poor hubby, don't think he got much sleep last night. Just hate it when the doc is right!

But just so you don't think that I have really died this time...I may not post until the 24th or so. If I am feeling better by next Saturday, I am going to Oregon with my Sister. Her grandson is getting baptized on Sunday and her granddaughter is getting married on Tuesday. It'll be a busy time so please pray for me to get over this quicker than normal and be up and ready to go. Thanks!

And now without further delay, I am going to go collapse in my chair and my book, and lots of kleenex, and water, and a Popsicle and probably two cats and a dog. Nite all!

My daughter brought me some homemade chicken soup! =) Love that kid!

???

2010-02-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know what is going on but I have lost a bunch of weight this week! What's up with that? I have played with the same couple pounds for 4-5 weeks and then I have lost just about every day this week, 3 pounds just this morning. I love it but this is not how I lose weight...hmmmmm! I am talking 7-8 pounds in the last week! Is it all gonna find me again next week?

Yuck!

2010-02-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

Woke up with a nasty cold this morning. Yuck! I hate colds. They usually don't last long tho as I usually have bronchitis by the second day! I should have known I was coming down with something as I have not been able to get warm for several days now.

But the good news is...I lost another two pounds! I am thrilled about that...woo-hoo!

Another one bites the dust!

2010-02-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

Lost another pound, sure wish it would take some of it's friends with it! I feel better eating healthier but the weight sure is coming off slow this time. I still can't do much in the line of exercise. I also am not recording every calorie. I find that when I do that, my every waking thought concerns food...don't like that. So I am keeping a rough count and don't you know (really) when you are consuming too many calories, atleast when you are the one doing the cooking? I don't like dieting at all, so we'll see if I can do this healthy stuff and try to watch my portions and incorporate exercise if and when I can.

I have been kicking around the idea of going back on Prism (phase one) for a couple weeks every now and then. It is so restrictive but it will jump start my metabolism and clean out all the junk. We'll see. No sugars, no breads of any kind, no potatoes, hmmmm!

Keepin' On Keepin" On...

2010-02-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

I have come to the realization that not weighing is not working for me. Because of my Pseudo Tumor Cerebri, I have to keep track of the fluid buildup and in order to do this I must verify my suspicians with the scale. I can usually tell when I am making too much fluid, but the scale definitely confirms it. Then I know to take my pills for a few days to get rid of it. I will lose between 7-10 pounds in a couple days. Then I am good to go again.

I have lost another pound so that is a good thing. Then I gained from the build-up of fluid in my brain. I have lost 8 pounds in two days, have one more to be back where I was. Gets kinda tricky to figure out how I am doing at times, depends on the day! I have stayed off the scale in between times tho!

Works for me!

2010-01-20T10:45:00.000-08:00

Tonight is 10 days in a row that I have cooked dinner at home, and healthy too! Needless to say my husband is loving it. He feels very spoiled. I am actually enjoying it too, but don't tell hubby. It's nice to have a list to work from and to just get up, decide what sounds good and ta-da, dinner is planned. Then I know when to start it and all goes smoothly so it is ready for hubby when he gets home or shortly after. And because I am cooking he is cleaning the kitchen. Woohoo! Our evenings are free to do what we would like.

I am playing around with a couple pounds the last couple of weeks. They don't seem to want to go too far. I know I have been double checking the scales too much. I have been officially weighing once a week, but getting on the scale many times during the course of the week. I know this is not good. The scale does not tell the whole story. I know my body is changing. I can see the slight differences. Sure nobody else can probably see them yet but that is not unusual. I usually have to lose about 25-30 pounds before anybody really notices.

I have to be careful when people do start to notice. I don't know why but I have a tendency to relax a bit when that happens. It's almost like I am doing it for people and not for me. If they think I am starting to look better well...ok then! Although the 25-30 pounds does make me look better and does help on my health...it is not enough, so no slacking off. I have to keep at it. We are going for the long haul this time.

And now back to the present, I need to get off this computer and get to movin'! But in conclusion, I don't think I am going to weigh until the 20th of February. Once a month is enough!

Finally!

2010-01-10T15:37:00.000-08:00

I think I have finally gotton about 3 weeks of meals figured out so now the big obstacle is actually doing the shopping. That is a big thing with my knee and actually all that is stopping me right now. I'm hoping I can talk DH into going a little later this afternoon. If we don't go shopping, we will have too rely on fast food again! Ugh!

I went back to church today after being home for 2 months because of my knee. It was still pretty painful sitting as my feet dangle from the pews. No, I don't quite touch the ground. It kinda sucks! Sure was good to see everyone tho. And just about all my friends are trying to eat healthy right now. This is a very good thing! They got me all enthused to really do this. Funny how the doctor can tell you all the time that you need to drop the weight and it's just like " blah blah blah "...(well, not really) but if your friends are doing it, you are all over it!

I have changed my strategy a bit again. That's ok because this is a journey to find what works for me. I really don't want to diet and I have said that all along. So I have lost 11.5 lbs. without dieting, right? Well, now my goal is to hit the 20 lb. mark. This is me being realistic. This is attainable. Just 10 lbs. Then I will work on the next 10 lbs. etc. So that being said...I have 8.5 lbs. to go on this 10 pounds. Or the magic scale amount of 242 lbs. Technically I had worked my way up to 276 pounds (with my extra fluid from PTC) before I started paying attention to what I was doing etc.

This week I will start counting all my water intake and taking my meds for PTC (Psuedo Tumor Cerebri) and taking my vitamins and watching my portions and fixing what I have planned for meals etc. No fast food! Except for the occaisional Subway.

This has been a bad week. We have had fast food most of the week, no food in the house syndrome! Gotta keep this from happening. I am sure the scale will show it on Tuesday. And then on Tuesday our Bible Study starts (with a potluck brunch, of course!) lol can't win!

I haven't run away...really!

2010-01-07T12:04:00.000-08:00

I am still here and I am more committed than ever to lose the weight. I had my surgery a week ago Tuesday and have been trying to recover. There was sooo much inflammation that my knee and thigh and lower back are in pain alot. My lower back hurts from the way that I have had to walk for the last 6 months to protect my knee.

The doctor said that the joint is shot like he thought and there was not any tear in the meniscus like they thought there might be. He told me that if I lose the weight I may not even need to have it replaced. So that is it folks! He said it. He also told me that just 11 pounds reduces my need for surgery by 25%. Goal one...11 lbs. (Done) Woohoo!

I go back on the 2nd of February. I want to lose 15 pounds in that month. I would be happy with another 11 but I would really like to show him that I am serious and lose 15. It is doable, right?

I am going to join the new pool/health place in town. I really don't need another expense right now but... I need to do the water thing to strengthen my knee and back muscles, then I can work on my treadmill and bike. This is big for me...wish me luck!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

Hope you all had a great Christmas with family and friends! Mine was very relaxing. Yeah! Didn't mean I didn't eat things I shouldn't, but you know I am not into deprivation! I am living not dieting!

My surgery to clean out my knee is next Tuesday. I weigh in that morning, if I remember before I have to be there. Please pray for my surgery to help so that I can be more active. I really am looking forward to being able to exercise and have a lot less pain. I have a lot of people praying for me. I think I am really ready to do this.

I have lost 10 pounds now and that is a good start so now my next goal is another 20 pounds. Then I am hoping to maintain it for a week or two and start being careful again til I lose another 20, and so on and so on! I don't want to be crazy about this, just 20 pound segments, beings I usually come to a screeching halt at 30 pounds. Maybe I can trick my body and not make it think that it is starving this way!

Hope you all have a fun and safe New Year!

Busy Busy Busy!

2009-12-19T20:59:00.000-08:00

Wow it has been crazy lately. I'm trying to finish Christmas gifts, attending Open Houses, potlucks, Girl's Night Out Christmas Parties, and family Christmas Parties...Eeek!

We found out my surgery on my knee, (the one they can't guarantee will help) is going to cost us over $700. And it is due before surgery. The surgery is scheduled for 4 days after Christmas. Who has that kind of money right after Christmas? We are trying to decide whether to spend the money and hope it works, or bag the whole thing. My knee is not getting better by any means. How will I be able to lose any weight without being able to walk etc.?

I got on the scale this morning to make sure I had not gotten too crazy as I have not been journaling my food intake or making sure of much of anything except taking my vitamins and meds. I am down to 252. Whats up with that? Being less than good and losing? Well, atleast I have not gone crazy on portions. I find I am not wanting all that much food, just often! I have gotten pretty sick when I get busy and don't eat often enough. I truly am not dieting, that's for sure! I will be anxious to see what the scale says by Tuesday when I weigh in officially.

Hope you all have a great Christmas and enjoy celebrating the birthday of our Lord and Savior!

Yikes!

2009-12-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

Way too many holiday temptations right now! I'm surrounded!

First week summary

2009-12-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, the first week went better than expected! I am not dieting...Yeah! And I lost 8 pounds!

I was aware of every bite and somehow didn't have any emotional eating. I did go to a Christmas party. I sampled what I wanted and what I wanted was more real food than sweets. I did try some of the sweets. The ones I didn't "love", I dumped in the trash-don't tell on me!

I drank all my water and of course took my vitamins. That was my two basic goals for this week. I didn't plan my menu ahead but I did eat at home 5 nights this week. Now for this coming week I am going to add...4-5 fruits and veggies a day, and try to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. I don't think I am going to worry about planning meals so much until the first of the year as there are so much activities coming up and who knows what I will have to eat after my surgery too!

We have two get togethers on Sunday, both with lots of nummy food! One is an open house at our friends and one is a family Christmas Party. I am really hoping that I can be sensible and not totally pig out like I normally would. We'll see!

Vampires and Arguements!

2009-12-08T00:01:00.001-08:00

Gosh how time flies...I'd like to say it was cuz I was having fun, but actually it was all my daughter's fault. She loaned me her copy of "Twilight" to read. Now I need "New Moon" Geez...I have Christmas sewing to do, and tons of shopping. I can't spend all my time reading. But then it is Edward we are talking about...hmmmm!

But back to my getting healthy goals...I really am learning alot by tracking what I am eating and what I am not eating and when I eat and when I don't want to eat. Like last night when Hubby and I got in a fight, he took off for a bit to cool off and all I wanted to do was run over to Wendy's and have a cheeseburger and fries and I probably wouldn't have stopped myself from having a pop either and maybe even a frosty. I was able to restrain myself. I had been cooking green beans and ham hocks for hubby all day so I opted for some of those instead. I was not in the mood to fix him anything else so that was it for dinner. Wasn't the greatest for me and not very balanced but better than Wendy's.

Ooops!

2009-12-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's almost 11:00 am and I have not had breakfast. I really need to eat before I get on the computer!
Lost 5 pounds in fluid since yesterday! Woohoo! That should help my knee.

I am on the journey

2009-12-02T00:39:00.000-08:00

Just getting ready to go to bed, but thought I better track my progress for today. I have become a night owl lately. Maybe I need to keep track of my sleep also as I know it does not help weight loss and can actually cause weight gain if you don't get enough sleep. I have problems sleeping anyway, both getting to sleep and then staying asleep.

I tracked all my food and calories today and was suprised where my total was after dinner. It is about at my ideal calories (according to what Prism set me at). Hmmm! I also noticed that I had to force 1/2 an orange down me this morning and was starving at lunch. Need to fix a better breakfast with protein and good carbs. And with my diabetes I should be having two to three snacks a day. I had a snack after dinner but nothing all day. A lot to be learned here!

I was able to drink all my water, and had some light cran-grape also (40 calories/8 oz.) All in all, it was a pretty good day. Sure got my exercise running up and down the stairs getting rid of all that water. My bathrooms are either upstairs or downstairs (none on the main floor). Good for my exercise but not so great on my knee.

Watched Biggest Loser tonight. Very inspiring! More than anything, I have learned by watching the show that I am worth it...I deserve to get healthy and lose the weight and quit hating myself. I need to forgive myself for getting this way and move on and get past it and quit punishing myself.

I have always known how hard it is to lose weight, but it is not nearly as hard as it is to forgive yourself and to examine your inner most heart and soul to find out the reasons behind the weight, and what keeps you here. It is reeally a journey and I feel like I am ready to peel back the layers and look inside now. I am beginning my journey. I hope you will be here to help support me along the way.

Project Me!

2009-11-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda an "all or nothing" type person when it comes to dieting. It's very hard for me to allow myself to slip up, and get right back on it. So, to that end, I am not going on another diet again as long as I live!

I have been on almost every "diet" known to man and still need to lose over 100 pounds. I have and still am contemplating weightloss surgery. Can't afford it at the moment so it is pretty much "off the table".

I have decided not to do another weightloss program. I know what I need to do to lose weight. I know how I need to eat and what I need to eat. I know the portion size and even the balance of protein to carbs etc. for my diabetes. So, why do I lose for about 30 pounds and then just stop? I don't stop the diet or program or whatever you want to call it, it quits me... don't think I can do that again!

I know that exercise plays a big part in that. With all my various ailments, I have never been very good at that end. I'm sure that that is why I have never succeeded in losing all that I want to. I have walked on my treadmill and started on my recumbandt bike as well the last time I really gave it a good effort. But I don't think I really had a good plan.

I am watching Biggest Loser this season. I could never do that kind of exercise atleast without Jillian yelling at me, or Bob pushing me to find the hidden "me" within! Being on the Biggest Loser Ranch you would have no choice in the matter. You would exercise when they said excercise or you would be headed home. I would have to be forced like that.

Right now, I have a blown out knee that is bone on bone. I have been in excruciating pain since the end of May. The pain has been increasing in severity. The doctor says I can not have surgery for knee replacement until I lose 80 pounds. Well, if you are overweight like I am, to the extent that I am, you know that 80 pounds may as well be 800! So here I sit, in my recliner, for the most part, in constant pain watching the world go by.
I am not telling you all this for your sympathy. Just filling in the background.

So what do we have? A big mess! I can't see starting another diet. From my viewpoint, that is just going to set me up for another failure. But I really feel the need to do something. If you have read some of the old posts on this site, you can see that all my medical issues would be greatly improved if not eliminated completely if I were able to lose the weight.

In order to do this I feel I really need to examine the reasons I became overweight to begin with and then to try to discover what is keeping me here, (emotionally). I feel like that is a big key to this. The rest is logistics.

I have always started a diet or program with unwavering resolve to do this right this time...and this time I will do it...I will lose the weight that is holding me back. Well, I am 56 years old and I have not done it yet.

I realize that if I take in more calories than I expend, I will gain weight. Very simple then, to lose weight I have to either, take in less calories or expend more calories. Preferably a combination of both. If I take in too few calories, my body thinks its starving and will hold on to every bit of stored fat it can to protect me. So guess that is not the answer. I need to make sure that I eat enough calories but not too much. Also I need to incorporate excercise to expend some calories.

Ok, so I am going to tackle this like a job project. It will be known as...Project Me.

Job Requirements:

to become healthy and fit

Brainstorming Ideas:

take in reasonable amount of calories
incorporate exercise
don't let the scales tell the story
drink lots of water
get enough fruits and vegetables
eat lean protein
eat whole grains
take daily vitamins
take additional vitamin D
take other meds as neccessary
monitor blood sugars
take measurements once a month
cook my own meals atleast 5 days a week
collect all my healthy recipes

Plan of Attack:

Start "Project Me" Dec. 1, 2009

Monthly

Weigh
Take measurements
Take stock in what went good and what didn't
Set goals for next month

Weekly

Cook dinner atleast 5 nights a week
Make weekly menu for next week
Plan for exercise or activity
Set weekly goals
Do weekly shopping
monitor blood sugars

Daily

Take vitamin & vitamin D
Drink 8/8oz glasses of water
Take other meds as needed
Journal
Take 30 minutes "me time"

Week One:

weigh
take measurements (first day of each month)
drink atleast 8 8oz glasses of water daily
take vitamins, vitamin D daily
take other meds when needed
start journal
monitor blood sugars daily
count calories and record any activities (for two weeks)

Well, there's the plan for now...I will add it to the side bar later so I can refer to it often. I will also add weight and measurements.

I am going to monitor my calorie intake and activity level for two weeks and take an average to figure out how many calories I am taking in to see how many I need to cut per day. You need to know where you are to know where you are going.

I am going to sit down and plan my menu and shopping list for this week. I am starting on Tuesday as it is the first day of the month. I intend to add to my program as I go along but for now these will be the things I am going to concentrate on. Baby steps!

I'm Back...

2009-11-28T01:02:00.000-08:00

Wow...it has been a year and a half since I have posted! And sadly enough, I am fighting the same battle. Or not fighting it, as the case may be.
I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, trying to figure out how I got in this situation, or more to the point...what keeps me here? What made me hate myself so much that I just didn't care what happened to me? Or what I felt like, or looked like for that matter!
Well, I have decided that no matter how much you think about it, it just doesn't change it. You have to do something! A lot of things actually. I didn't get this way be thinking about it, nor did I get this way by just doing one thing. I did a lot of things to attain this level of couch potato. The question is...Am I really ready to do something about it?

Not gonna be weighing in for awhile...

2008-05-26T01:15:00.000-07:00

Went to the doctor on Friday cuz it felt like my cough was getting worse and my chest was tightening up and not as loose as it had been. I figured it was just asthma, but just in case it was working on a good case of bronchitis as well, figured I better go in. (I have chronic bronchitis, and the last couple of times my asthma has been flared up also) By the time I got back to my car I was ready for anti-depressants and strong ones. I don't know why it affected me like it did, but I was mad at my doc, depressed, feeling hopeless, and just felt like dissolving into a puddle of tears.
He put me on strong anti biotics and prednisone again! For one thing, I am not supposed to have prednisone or any steroids as it flares up my psuedotumor cerebri. I do not want to have a brain shunt, much less the brain surgery to put it in! It took me so long to get my body working again after the last round of steroids. I had one of the medpacks of prednisone for five days and then a month of inhaled steroids. It got where I couldn't breathe from so much fluids. I was really short of breath. I really thought I was going to have a heart attack. My Dad died of complications from a stroke that had left him bedridden for a number of years, following heart bypass surgery for the second heart attack and second bypass. Needless to say I was a little worried.
A bunch of us at work went on the same healthy eating program and I had been doing well, having lost 16 pounds and most of the fluid and really starting to feel better when I got sick again. Now I know I will be right back where I started again.
The only thing that was not doing better was my blood sugar levels. I had been keeping track for the last month to show the doctor the next time I went in. I need to try some other meds. He wouldn't even talk to me about it as the prednisone will send them up much higher anyway. Of course this really thrills me too. I need to get new glasses, but can't even have the exam while my blood sugars are up. I did this once before I was monitoring my blood and when I got my glasses my blood was normal again and couldn't see clearly out of the glasses and had to send them back to be remade. My current glasses are so bad now, and scratched too!
It's really not going to do me any good to be on a diet right now as I have so much working against me. So I will let you know when I am going to start over again! Bring on the prozac!

I know it is only Sunday!

2008-05-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday and not Monday, but I will be too busy in the morning to post, so thought I would do it now! I weighed this morning. I was very surprised that I had lost another 3 pounds. I have not been eating properly for the last six days as I have been feeling so much like crap! So pretty much I have eaten what sounded good to me, no matter what it was. A strange thing has happened while I have been on this program. I have been satisfied with less. That is a very big deal for me! I usually can put away quite a bit of food. In the past couple weeks, I have wanted less. It must be from eating smaller meals, but knowing that I can have a snack in a couple hours. Maybe it is changing my metabolism. That would be the most awesome thing to ever happen to me! Coolio, I tell ya!

Sorry So Silent!

2008-05-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am sick, sick as a dog, in fact! Yesterday, I could care less what I ate...didn't care how many calories, how many carbs, much less how many powerfoods! If it felt good I ate it. I slept thru most of the day. And here it is 11:30 and I am just getting up and having breakfast/snack/lunch. Ya know what really sucks? It is sposed to be 88 today...it is gorgeous out there. It was still snowing a little over two weeks ago. I have been waiting for this day to get some things done in my yard. And here I am, can't even breathe, and all the energy of a brand new mommy after two weeks with a newborn and no sleep!

Hi, it's me again!

2008-05-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, the day that I weigh in and, of course, I had a big Mother's Day dinner last night, after eight at night! My daughter and oldest son took me to the casino yesterday. I won a rather nice jackpot, and we were all hungry so it was the Mother's Day buffet for us! I found it all very curious tho. I filled my plate as usual. took a bite of the fish and ate the breaded shrimp (I know, I'm bad!) I sent almost the whole plate back. Then I had seen some pasta salad that looked good so I got a little of each. Took a bite and that was enough. You are allowed one cheat meal a week, so I figured this was it. But I couldn't seem to eat much of any of it, even the little tiny slice of cheesecake (and I love cheesecake), I still only ate a couple bites. What is happening to me? I am not complaining, just perplexed!

Last week I did not record my weight loss, because there wasn't any. I had lost 3 pounds during the week but by Monday it had found its way back to me! Hate it when that happens! This week, I lost it again and lost another pound with it. Pray it doesn't find its way back home! So in 3 weeks I have lost 13 pounds. That's a good start and not losing it as fast, which I think is good. And I don't feel deprived! Have a good week!

I'm amazed!

2008-05-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, fluid or no fluid, I am still amazed at the changes I am seeing in me since I started on the AB's diet a week ago Monday. My clothes are actually loose...in less than two weeks! My body is changing shape, and I have lost 12 pounds.
I am almost scared to say it for fear it will run away, but I actually had a burst of energy this morning. Ouuuuu! I have not had that for a long time.
I am not feeling at all deprived on this either. There are lots of good foods to eat and really nothing is forbidden. It is about teaching you what to eat all the time, what to eat occasionally, and what to eat rarely. It's a life change for sure with no counting, no measuring. How many people can keep that up for their whole life? Too much prep always killed me on any of the other programs I have been on. You do need to cook and prepare meals etc. but you don't have to worry about how many calories, fat grams, or points every little morsel is.
Happy Friday!

(Drum Roll Please)

2008-04-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, last time I tried the whole weight loss thing, I went on Prism (very strict) for 6 weeks and lost 20 pounds. Then life got crazy, I got stressed, and I gained back the 20 I lost! Big Suprise! Then in January I got real sick and had to have steroids for a couple months to pull out of it. This triggered my pseudo tumor and on came the excess fluid...felt like I was drowning. I have had lots of trouble getting it to pack up and go find a nice lake or something to live in. But even though I am still a bit bloated from the steroids, there is a slight change in my abdomen. So I will take my 9 pound loss and run with it.

Confused!

2008-04-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

My body is all whacked out right now! I am feeding it good food and I think it has thrown it into a tailspin! My blood sugars were high (for me anyway) and since Monday they are higher! I lose a few pounds of fluid and then back it comes. I think I really confused it! Now it has confused me. It's all good, I think!

Weight loss/water loss?

2008-04-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

I've lost 8 pounds! Since Monday! Don't get excited...it's just fluid!
I have really been struggling with my pseudo tumor since I had to have steroids back in January to get rid of the "crud" and to help my asthma. And then they put me on a steroid inhaler for 2 months also. Steroids are a big no no with pseudo tumor cerebri (PTC) But what do you do? Guess I thought this would be the lesser of the two evils since I could not breathe at all then. So four months later I am still trying to get rid of the fluid. I will lose 15 pounds in two days and then it starts to collect again. As it is right now...my spine has so much fluid I can hardly turn my head at all. My neck is really out and I need an ajustment or 10, but all it would do at this point is make the muscles all swell up and be worse. So my prayer is that the fluid is on it's way out (now that I am back on diabetes meds too.)
The program (Abs) is pretty easy to stick with but there is a lot of prep. If I had been feeling better I would make up a large portion of brown rice for the week to put veggies and beans in etc. for on & off during the week. All kinds of things you can do to save time, am I doing it? NO, I am fighting off the crud going thru our office. I have been exhausted! Getting back on all my meds will make me a much happier person! :)

Holy Cow!

2008-04-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

I just ate my first meal with "good food" on this Ab's program...I am stuffed! Note to self: fix lunch and snacks prior to eating breakfast! I don't even want to think about food right now and I need to fix everything else for the day!
I am not posting my weight for today until next week or the week after as I know it is all wacky with fluid from my pseudo tumor cerebri right now. Like 11 pounds or more! It usually takes a couple weeks to get it back under control. But rest assured, I did weigh and did all my measurements for a reference point. Talk about a depressing Monday morning!
I really am not depressed about it tho! I am weighing more than I have in many years and have lots of weight related issues. I should be under the covers crying and refusing to come out! That doesn't work either. I am ready to work on this again. I am ready to make myself feel better! But right now, I gotta run as fast as my fat little legs will carry me to get all this done before I need to be at work so bye....

Well, I'm going for it!

2008-04-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

I have not finished the book. I have not planned all my meals for the next couple days. I do not understand all the ins and outs of this program yet. I don't know how to work my new "Magic Bullet". In fact I have not even taken it out of the box yet.
But... I am going for it anyway! Tomorrow morning at 7:00 am I am starting on the Ab's diet. Yep, me, that's what I said. Tonight is my last Mountain Dew. Tomorrow I will be eating good food! And smoothies! Woo hoo!
Think I better start getting up a bit earlier so that I can cook breakfast and make lunch and 2 snacks! Whew, what a lot of work! My poor frig is so stuffed full of healthy junk, I can hear it moaning all the way over here!
I will attempt to journal good and bad. Wish me luck!

Have a Question...

2008-04-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

First...hi, no I am not dead, and I have missed you all! Just have been very stressed and overwhelmed, and needed to drop out of life for awhile!
Now having said that...I am ready to slowly start dipping my toe in the ocean again!
I do have a question for you all! That's assuming there is still ANYONE still out there! Has anyone tried the Ab's Diet for women? I know a few people on it and they're doing well, but haven't really talked with them (just their family) I have read quite a bit about it and yesterday bought the book.
Guess I just need the reassurance and input from my bloggin buddies. Help!

The things I like about it:

the foods are healthy good for you stuff
no forbidden foods (alternate choices given)
no counting calories unless you want to
you get a cheat meal once a week
sensible exercise program

Possible pitfalls:

have to cook or prepare all the time (ok, you caught me...I'm lazy!)
no counting calories (I can put away a lot of food when I want to)
sensible exercise program (right now I feel like I would die)

What do ya think?

I am not in this for the ab's. I would be shocked and totally spit less if I found out I even had ab's! I am more into this for the fact that health wise I feel like I am sliding down a very slippery slope...and although I am more than ready to go home to Jesus...I am not quite ready to leave my family just yet.

So I guess that means that I better do something about it. Right now it seems almost totally impossible to get to the point to be able to say that I even feel good again. It's pretty depressing actually.

At this point I KNOW I have to make some changes, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Boy, that sounds exhausting! Maybe I will go take a nap!

Days of Our Lives

2007-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

Boy yesterday was one of those days! First I was woke up by one of the registered nurses that help monitor my diabetes and asthma. That turned out to be no big deal...I think she was new! She didn't do any probing or make any suggestions etc. Yeah, I got off the phone without feeling convicted etc. But the next phone call was not so easy!

I guess while I had been blissfully (is there such a word?) sleeping in on my day off, my sister had been trying to get ahold of me. She lives close to my mom and stops by in the morning to give her her pills. Yesterday she had a paper for her to sign and mom could not even write. Mom has arthritis in her fingers pretty bad, and it usually takes her awhile to sign her name. We are on her checkbook and usually write her checks. But she went to sign it and could not even hold the pen right. She didn't know how any more. She was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, so that in itself was not too suprising. But there was something about it that was nagging at my sister. She got into work and it was still bugging her so she showed it to some of the people in her office and then showed them her signature from a couple weeks ago. They convinced her to have it checked out. So she called Mom's doctors office and they told her to go to urgent care or the hospital. Hence the phone call that finally got me up.

I met them at urgent care and mom got a cat scan and vision test etc. as she was having trouble seeing as well. Her eyes were pretty equal at this point and the cat scan was ok now but they think she had a TIA or mini stroke. Whatever damage that was done was already done so she has to follow up with her doctor on next Friday.

We took Mom to lunch and then we went together to get her groceries while her and her puppy took a nap. After we got her all snuggled in for the night and the groceries put away we finally came back to my house.

We had a craft thing with the ladies from my church. It was a nice way to relax a little. The only problem was, everyone was supposed to bring finger foods. And oh did they, but the first 20 women brought desserts! Oh my. There really was not much that I could have. So I threw caution to the wind! But, I am back in the saddle today.

Something is changing in me. Normally that would have been the end of my diet. I blew it so lets just have something else, and breakfast today would have consisted of the leftover cupcakes that somehow ended up at my house...thanks sis! And then lunch would have been McD's cuz I haven't had them in so long. You get the picture!

I guess even tho I had chocolate (Ahhh!!!) last night it is still a victory for me!

Drum Roll Please!!!

2007-10-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well, today has been 6 weeks since I started back on Prism. I was not as strict as I was the first time I was on it and didn't keep a food diary and count all my calories, even tho I knew the calorie counts.
I did this with the idea of living in mind. If life popped up, as it always does, I can then choose whether I wanted to partake or not, and ask myself if it was worth it or not. This is a good lesson to learn!
I ate cake and ice cream at my Mom's 80th birthday party because she would not understand if I didn't eat it. But I passed on the cake and ice cream at two other family birthdays. On hubby and I's weekend away, I ate whatever sounded good. But went back to eating completely healthy again on Monday. I learned alot, by my little experiments this time.
But having said all this...I will tell you I lost the same amount as I did the first time I went on Prism and was sooooooooo strict. Twenty pounds! I guess with my body you have to keep tricking it and never let it know what it is going to get from one day to the next. I usually will lose around 30 pounds on whatever diet or program that I am on...and then my body shuts off and says "no more, that's all you get!" and then I get disgusted eventually and rebel, gaining it all back and inviting some of it's friends and family to join too! Just like the family share plan! Eventually you realize what you have done to yourself and then you are disgusted with yourself as well as diets and just get good and depressed.
What a vicious cycle...I am hoping to spare myself from all the regret and self hate this time. So I am going about it a little differently. Stay tuned for more updates!

I am so looking forward to tomorrow!!!

2007-10-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

That's right Baby! Phase one will be done, over, kaput, outta there...woo hoo!!! It has been a long six weeks! Need I say more?

3 long weeks!

2007-10-07T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have been in this boot for three weeks and my foot is not healing! Poop! Looks like he may have to go in and pin it! Not only do I not want surgery but I also can't really take any time off work. I am the only one trained to do the church bulletin etc. Maybe if I can schedule surgery on a Wed. Then I would have Wed thru Sun. to be ready to return to work. Although I am not sure how I will get there as I won't be able to drive. How I wish were not so dumb!

Food wise I have been doing pretty good. I did take the weekend off when Hubby and I went to stay at a wonderful condo on the lake. It was great! Very relaxing! I would have liked to have been able to explore more but it was still nice to get away.

Hubby enjoyed the antique hydroplanes. They were very cool, but I had my eyes set on a scrapbook store I spotted when driving thru town.

We also went to the casino for awhile the night before and had the seafood buffett and donated a little to the cause, of course. Saturday Night we watched movies on the big flat screen tv and hubby bbq'd a couple of steaks. Yes it was very nice to get away.

This is looking out from our balcony in the back. Our condo was just like his one.

This is the lake seen from the other side of the deck!

I could have lived in this condo very easily! It had a full kitchen, bar, dining room, living room and two bedrooms. Washer & dryer too! And the great part for me is that it was all on one level. Woo hoo! No stairs like my tri-level!

I have a week and two days left on phase one of the Prism program. I have lost 18 pounds as of last week. I lost 20 pounds last time on the first phase so I am just about on target for my body. I am hoping to be able to lose better in the second phase by getting to exercise some. Right now I am out of commission.

Hubby just left to get animal food, so I think I will try to get some things done while he is not watching me so close! Ha Ha! have a good week all!

We are as one!

2007-09-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yep, my friends, me and the boot are becoming one! Geez...I can't imagine being in this thing for another 5 1/2 to 7 1/2 weeks! I have bruises and sore spots from just wearing the silly aircast. Remind me to never ever do this again! This was really dumb!

Well, on another note...I had gained back a couple pounds after losing all that water, which I know is normal. It is just my bodies way of settling down into the routine. I have now lost them again and another pound! That makes it a total of 15 and I know that it has adjusted now and I will wait for my next weigh in. It will be very slow now, and I can't really exercise, so we'll just take it as it comes...or goes, so to speak!

Have a great day!

A week of many adventures!

2007-09-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

Bet 'cha thought I gave up again huh? Fooled you this time! I have just been crazy busy. Wait til I tell you what I have been so busy with...
Well, Sunday was my Mommy's 80th Birthday! We had a nice birthday get together at my Sister's...flowers, balloon bouquets gifts and cards and of course there was cake and ice cream! Mom was thrilled with all the attention. It was especially nice as last week Mom's Doctor confirmed our suspicions of Alzheimer's. We have known or suspected for quite sometime but, now the memory problems etc. have been obvious for Mom too, so this time she was not trying to hide it.
Getting back to her birthday party though...we were all enjoying ourselves and I got up to go help in the kitchen with dinner and my dumb corduroy pants always rise up when I am sitting so as I was walking towards the kitchen I stopped and tried to shake the pant leg down. Well, this seemed like a smart thing to do, at the time! It doesn't seem too smart to me now looking back at it. I had not noticed that my foot was in very close proximity to the very immovable kitchen cabinet divider. Well I now realize what happens to your toes and foot when said foot launches itself into immovable object with a sharp corner. It's called a fractured toe that travels along the joint into the foot. The Doctor has warned me that he may have to go in and pin it, but at any rate it will require 6-8 weeks to heal, even without surgery. Oh yeah! And it is my right foot. Little hard to drive with a honkin' boot on your foot. Do you know how hard it is to constantly have to put this thing on and off again all day? Not to mention how tired you get making the five mile trek to the other side of the building to the bathroom. Get the feeling that I am kinda whiney about this?
I did have a very small piece of cake and some ice cream. I deserved it right? Actually, I really did not want it, but I knew Mom would be hurt if I did not eat some, and it was a little piece. The best part is...I did not go into the "I've blown it now so I can eat anything for the rest of the day mode" Went right back to eating right, in fact I ate very light that evening. Hooray for me!
This week has been a struggle food wise but I am doing it, even tho the last couple of days I have had to depend on my husband for dinner. A person could starve this way. He ended up making a very nice meal last night tho, and had a salad and chili from Wendy's tonight. Works for me!
Ya know I lost all that water the first week and then I think I gained a couple back...guess it is all settling in now. I suspect I will lose some more before our six week weigh in. My body is trying to hold onto it now tho. Sometimes I think there is a mutiny going on in there!

Exercise for Older Adults:

2007-09-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room
at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight
out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a
full minute, and then relax.
Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit
longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try
50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a
100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a
full minute. (I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks

2007-09-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

It's been one week! Hey...I passed the two post test! And then there is the scale!!! I knew I was doing good as I have been keeping track this week to monitor my fluid loss because of the pseudo tumor. But once I reached 11 pounds, which, by the way, is exactly 4, 397,562 trips to the bathroom, then I was somehow afraid that I would gain 5 or 6 of it back by this morning! My body likes to play tricks on me! And sometimes I think that I talk myself right into it! Do you ever do that? I need to re-program my little voice and what it is saying to me!
Well (drum roll please!) I have lost 14 pounds! That is the most I have ever lost in one week! I must have been storing enough fluid to drown in!

Oh Man! Now I saw the water and I gotta pee! See ya!

Crummy Crummy Day!

2007-09-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Yep, I did have a very crummy day, there was never a point when you would find crumbs on me (cookie crumbs, that is) Nope, I thought of going straight to chocolate!

Doin' The Happy Dance!

2007-09-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Woo-hoo...no cookies for me! Yippee! But I was drooling over the zuchinni my friend had...Darn I was thinking of all the good healthy recipes I have for zuchinni. Thou shall not covet thy friends zuchinni in church!

Challenge Number One!

2007-09-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today was a big "Family Day" for my husband's work. It was nicely catered by a local BBQ place. You know bbq beef, turkey and shredded pork to go into a big fat hamburger bun with all the trimmings, and sausage too, potato salad, cole slaw and macaroni salad and baked beans, & corn bread with butter and honey. Then of course there was chips and dips, cotton candy, and lots of other candy and pop. But ya know what? I must be committed cuz I had some fresh veggies, a little sausage, some beans and lots of water. That's one of the good things about Prism, you don't crave stuff. I guess cuz your body is satisfied. (Not even the big yummy cookies.) We had a great time tho! We took our seven year old granddaughters. They had a blast. They really had alot for the kids!

We will see how I do tomorrow at church with the cookies so close at hand! That has always been one of my hardest things. They have yummy sugar free ones but they still have white flour in them so they are a no no! Is everybody a cookie monster out there, or is it just me? It's like the perfect food. There is always one that is just the way you like it! Yum!

2007-09-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

Seems I only get two posts out in any particular quest to eat healthy and control my "out of control" eating and pop drinking! Guess that's cuz I keep starting with great intentions but fall short before a week or two. Go figure!
Well, I decided that I really needed to change this self destructive path that I am on. I decided to go back on Prism, the strictest program that I am familiar with. I lost 33 pounds on it last time. But all significant loss was within the first two phases. The first two phases take 3 months. That would take me to the 27th of November. I told my friend at work (who had also been on the program when we had classes at our church) that I was going back on. She wanted to join me as she has also started gaining...uck! So the day after labor Day we started. We have been keeping each other going all week.
I will not weigh again after this Tuesday until the end of the first phase. I have been weighing every day this week as I am trying to keep track of my fluid loss for my pseudo tumor cerebri. Since Tuesday I have lost 10 pounds. I really have been storing the extra fluid. Must have been floating... I know I was not feeling well.
So wish me luck and tune in to see if I make it past 2 posts this time!

The Almost Perfect Diet

2007-09-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola - and
was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... DUH!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before
I woke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the
bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an
easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse
with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
once again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital?

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car
hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

This was sent to me by my co-worker who started back on Prism with me this Monday! She is a great accountability partner! Cool thing is that everypne has been bringing in tomatoes lately! Woo hoo!

Quick Update!

2007-08-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note this morning before work to let you know where I am...I have lost 5 pounds of fluids and my fasting blood sugars have gone down 14 points. And my head is no longer sloshing! Woo Hoo!

I would like to say that I am eating healthy and not going out at all, but I can't! Just haven't got there yet, but I am taking my meds and working towards the healthy eating with an occasional treat or fast food meal, instead of the other way around.

Really gotta run, it's almost time to go. I'll catch up with everyone soon.

More Whine!

2007-07-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is harder than I thought! I was going to work on not eating out but there we were out and about and had a sub for dinner! On a good not tho, I did drink atleast 4 glasses of water yesterday and 4 glasses of ice tea. (sugar free-no caffeine)
We went out to breakfast this morning too...what a loser I am! Atleast it wasn't fast food and I do believe that is what I was banning, right? I drank water tho. And have more water and tea again.
I am still feeling crappy, hope there is some improvement soon. Yes, I am taking my meds.
I actually cooked tonight! Shocked my husband, especially when it was almost 100 again and we are not air conditioned! I made a big pot of spaghetti so when we get lazy and think of going out for a burger there will be something to nuke instead! Yea for me!
I took my blood this morning and it was up to 134...yikes, that is really high for me! I am usually around 90 in the morning. No wonder I feel crappy! I took it later in the afternoon and it was 118. Lower, but still too high for me! This is not a good trend! Maybe tomorrow will be better!

Yes, there is still a "Chubby Toes" and the rest of me for that matter!

2007-07-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I disappear...did you even notice? does anyone still come around to know I am gone?
I hate excuses...but I have many!
I hate it when I have to come back and eat my words...why not? I have eaten everything else!
I hate it when I have to come back and face the music...and I am not yet ready to sing!

BUT HERE I AM ANYWAY!

I have gained much and lost much!

First what I have gained...

too many previously hard lost pounds!
the knowledge that I cannot do it alone...I need the accountability (and friendship) of my buds.
psuedo tumor headaches
higher blood sugar levels
very swollen ankles
sore knees that are popped out more than they are in.
a new understanding of just how long it takes to realize that you are in trouble!
a much rounder butt!

And now for what I have lost...

my self esteem
my way
my hope
my health
any single piece of clothing in my closet that still fits!
my will to do this all again!

I have learned things by this tho...

I need to lower my stress levels

do not try to work a new job, get ready for VBS and a car show all at the same time
take time to plan meals ahead of time for busy days and nights
delegate wherever possible -- I don't need to do it all!
make time for the Lord
make time for me
make time for my hubby

I am in my present state because I got overwhelmed by stuff that had to be done and I had no time left to do it except to just continue without a break, at work and at home. I was working 10-12 hour days and then coming home and working another four and somewhere in between there was atleast 2 fast food meals maybe 3. I was forgetting to take my meds. It was a mess...and still is. I am still trying to dig out of it! I have gained weight, my head is full of extra cerebral fluid and I can feel the pressure building in my spine as well, especially through my neck. The extra fluids are pooling in my ankles which is causing my heart to work harder and now something is haywire in my digestive track and my tummy is all bloated too! It's hard to breathe and my asthma has really been giving me a hard time. Now how is that for a whine? It is all self inflicted, not on purpose but nevertheless, I am there, and feeling stupid because it was so easy to predict, the way I was going!

I started taking my meds again this morning. I tried last week also but keep forgetting them anyway.

Things are calming down alot at work and somewhat at home. I am just trying to do damage control now and will start eating healthy again when I can get everything under control around here. Right now I will be happy to stay away from eating out!

If you are still reading this, you must be really really bored, or you are one of the reasons I keep coming back and trying again! Thank you!

Here's what I plan to do for this week... Keep in mind please, that I don't plan to jump right back in and lose five pounds or anything like that! I am too far gone for that right now.

take my meds every day
drink a minimum of 4 glasses of water (right now I am only drinking maaaaaaybeee one!)
eat at home
I will weigh myself (just for a point of reference) but no, I am not divulging this info at this time!
I will spend some time each day figuring out what my healthy eating program will look like.

That's it folks! If you are still reading this, please stay tuned and hold me accountable!

With dread & trepidation...

2007-06-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I wasn't all too sure that I wanted to weigh in today... this week has been a struggle all the way around. I figured that I could not just give up because of a bad week or I would totally give up and end up adding more weight onto my already bloated, way too soft body! I don't like feeling bad about myself (I am way too praticed at it) and so I pulled myself up and decided good or bad I was still going to weigh in and still continue the fight. Much to my suprise, I had still lost one and a half pounds. True, I should have lost more this week, just because it is only my second week, but I'll take it! It looks far better to just lose 1 1/2 than to gaining the 2-3 I would have next week if I had given up! So, taking everything into account, I am signing last week off as a good week under the circumstances! Have a good week all!

Oh, I almost forgot...I had two goals for this last week, neither of which did I accomplish so I am adding them to this week AGAIN!

drink more water, especially at work.
plan my meals...maybe I should drop this one as I can't do any shopping until Friday...geesh!

Food tracker?

2007-06-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

Totally walked away from it this week...just way too busy! Poor excuse I know! Second week and I am making excuses. I know I need to be accountable, but honestly this week, I just couldn't find room for ONE MORE THING that I had to do. Curious what Monday morning weigh in is going to show!
I am sitting here in my jammies just breathing...first time the pressure has been off all week! And yet, I can't grace myself with total abandon even for 15 minutes, because I am still thinking of everything I have to do today (at home). Go to the bank...call the vet...call my Mom...do some laundry...find something to eat...and my mind keeps flashing back to work to make sure I didn't forget anything for Sunday service. Ok, the pressure is winning...gotta go!

I wasn't perfect....but

2007-06-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

I still lost 5.5 lbs. Guess that is the beauty of weight watcher's. You don't have to feel deprived and be perfect. I did find a few things I would like to do better at tho!

Drink more water when I am at work. For some reason I just forget about it. I do pretty good at home, provided I have nice cold water in the frig. Right now I am too lazy to put my water bottles in the frig. Yes, I am a water snob!
I need to plan my meals better and figure out what I am going to have for dinner and shop for it before I am starving and cranky and wanting anything.
I do need to exercise but that is still out for now due to my knee!

Good start anyway...I will get better as I go along, but I do want to work on 1 & 2 this week!

I think...I think...I think...

2007-06-09T10:12:00.001-07:00

I think I am doing ok! Yesterday I wasn't feeling too good so didn't eat as much as I should have. Pretty low on points, but I did eat something on and off during the day. I am feeling ok so far today but I have not eaten yet either.

I am going out for dinner and a movie with my girlfriends to celebrate our one friend turning 50! Kind of low key by some standards but I know we will have a great time. Just getting out together and away from all our responsibilities for the night will be fun. And there will be no shortage of laughter. We are going to PF Changs for dinner. Not your normal deep fried greasy chinese food. This is more clean and fresh, I understand. Hopefully my two days will balance out.

I did get a chance to check in on some of my favorite blogs this week. Some of you have been and are doing great! There are quite a few that are not being so good and have been silent and away from their blogs, just like I was. It is really hard to get on here and say I have not been doing well in fact I have not been doing at all! There is a lot of encouragement to be had from all our friends on this journey, so please don't run away and hide, ( like I did) just keep reading and post and talk about what you are feeling. I'll bet there are many of us that are or have gone thru the same thing because this is a journey! There are bumps in the road and there are deep ruts you never think you are going to get out of. There are hills to climb and then there is the times you are on the top of the hill and sailing down the other side just as fast as can be, when it seems like you don't have to do anything but hold on and feel the wind in your hair! It is all part of the journey.

Have a great weekend!

You'd think I would remember!

2007-06-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

But then again...I have to remember that I am talking about ME! Being eager to start off on the right foot, and drink all my water, have lots of fruits and veggies and even more fiber, I think I need to make sure that I add a little more protein to slow things down a bit! And any of you that have been with me for awhile may realize that sometimes my brain is not engaged before I do things. So on top of running to the bathroom already, I stopped into Wendy's and grabbed a small chili while I was running errands during lunch. Guess where I will be spending my evening?

Gettin' Down to Business!

2007-06-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

Hey, I did it! I actually made it all day and stayed under my points for the day! I have one point left but I am nice and full! I turned down cupcakes and pop both today...woohoo! And they really didn't bother me. That's how I know when I am truly ready! I am not really tempted by all the goodies around. What an awesome feeling, now if I could just bottle that feeling for later when I am bored and tired of being good!

Tomorrow's the day!

2007-06-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, once again, I will get up shower, brush my teeth, gel my hair and face the scale!

Yep, tomorrow is it, weight and measurements! What a way to start the week! Who came up with starting a diet or healthy eating program (beings I hate the word D-I-E-T ) on a Monday? For Heaven's sake, aren't Monday's hard enough already? But I will start with the millions of Americans who once again start over on a Monday. Shouldn't that alone make me wait til Tuesday? I am pretty onery and love doing my own thing! I would have started today but we had a Missions Conference at church today with snacks from all over the world! I don't think so! Tomorrow will have to do!

I really am looking forward to it. I haven't done all my shopping yet but I probably can get by until I can. I am getting much better at my water drinking, so I think I am set.

Happy Girl

2007-05-31T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hey, I am actually getting excited for next week! I am looking forward to eating healthier. Guess I better be looking through my recipes and figuring out my menus.
My knee is still giving me fits so walking is not something I can do as yet, but hopefully soon!
I sure do miss everybody. Maybe tomorrow I can catch up on a few of my favorite blogs.
Cheryl, You are an encourager for me. 12 weeks on ww...that's great! How have you done? Can't wait to hear!
Hope I am doing this "Happy Dance" after my first weigh in!

Oh, Ice Cold Frosty Glass of Water!

2007-05-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

Now doesn't that sound good? Then why am I drinking less than 4 glasses a day? I didn't used to have a problem getting my water in each day. Of course I had to make that my first thing that I was going to do...no more Mountain Dew and drink lots of water.

I am not drinking the Dew (even tho I wanted one today really really bad), but I also am not drinking my water. Today for instance, I had a half a glass with my pills this morning and have not had any since. It is after 5:00 pm. What's up with that? And when is my natural thirst going to come back? Oh yeah...I have to get my body used to water again and then it gets thirsty on it's own...geez!

Guess I will just have to set a timer, and have one cup every hour! Wonder how many times I can run to the other side of the church to go potty in one day? Hmmmm! Atleast I will get my exercise!

Ok...Step One

2007-05-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

Just had my last Mountain Dew! Starting tomorrow it's water for me! Wish me luck!

If Anyone Still Reads This...

2007-05-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

If anyone still reads this...then you know I have not been away on vacation, nope...I have not been way too busy to post...I have not been ill...no, not any of those things!

I have been too ashamed to post! I have not been watching what I am eating. I have not even cared what I was eating. I have not been getting any exercise. I have been drinking Mountain Dew. I have not been taking my meds regularly.

It is hard to show your face on here when you are not being good. Especially when you are not even trying to be good. It's not that I don't know what to do! I know exactly what I should and shouldn't be doing. I feel terrible about myself right now. Slowly, I am getting past that. I know I am setting the wheels in motion to get back to being healthier again. In fact Hubby is picking up my new meds as we speak (or as I type!)

I am looking through my healthy recipes today and will figure out what I need to get to start eating right again. the exercise will have to wait for awhile as I have something wrong with my knee. (probably all the weight I have put back on) I am not sure when I will be ready to get on to eating right etc. It is looking like it will be sometime next week! Sounds like it is doable. One thing I am definately going to need is the support of my weight loss buddies. So if you are out there, and still check in once in awhile...let me know with a comment! You are my accountability partners. I miss you all!

Oh and if you have found some good healthy recipes, expecially quick and easy ones to take for work lunches, please share! I am working now and it is definately harder having to plan instead of just fixing something when you are at home. Talk to you soon!

One Big Whine!

2007-04-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, I am back to eating better and taking my meds each and every day! Geez...why do I let myself get to this point? This is probably the worst I have felt physically. I have not been taking my psuedo tumor meds nor have I taken my diabetes meds. I have been drinking Dew and eating chocolate and many other garbage foods. Now I feel so bad, that I can hardly function! What is wrong with me? Why do I have to get this bad before I draw the line? It scares me cause each time I am in worse condition! A deeper hole to crawl out of! Right now, I really don't even want to try! I am so tired and everything hurts! And exercise...who can even think about that when you feel like I do right now?

Mood...Depressed and overwhelmed!

2007-04-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! i WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW! I WILL NOT DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW!

Blue Bunny, Vanilla Ice Cream...the perfect comfort food!

2007-03-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

And let me tell you, I have needed comfort. The last month and a half has been unbelievable!

January 15...Hubby had surgery on his back
...My daughter has an unconfirmed miscarriage

January 16...Hubby comes home from Hospital

January 18...I wake up with bronchitis, doctor calls in a prescription

January 22...Still no better, go in to doctor this time, still bronchitis, and Asthma flared up too
...start taking stronger anti-biotics and prednisone too, and inhaler...I tend to agree with hubby, this sucks.

February...I am suffering from taking steroids and having my psuedo tumor acting up again...still sick!

February 2...My ex brother in law passes away

February 9...Jack's funeral

February 10...Family get together, met my nephew's daughter that was given up for adoption-my first time out after being so sick. Still very weak.

February 13...My daughter is confirmed pregnant again!

February 14...my niece has her fifth baby boy

February 16...finally was able to work in the afternoon again

February 18...Daughter is really sick and has spotted a couple of times

February 22...My daughter is really bleeding this time

My Niece's new baby is in the hospital...respiratory problems

February 28...Daughter in ER, extreme pain, threatened miscarriage, put on bedrest

March...My niece's Baby is home and doing good

March 3...My Daughter is back in ER. They now think that she is not going to miscarry, but that this baby is growing in the tube.

March 4...Grandaughter's 14th Birthday. We just got home and settled in to relax before bed and got a call from my daughter that she is on her way to the hospital again. Not for her this time. My son in law went to pick up my grandson from his Dad's just before we left, and he was in pain and sick. So I met them at emergency, about 10 minutes later they called in the surgeon, his appendics needed to come out, NOW! They called in a team, and they took him in at midnite.

March 5...Braden came thru the surgery like a champ and I left around 3:30 am. I spent the next hour decompressing, and finally went to bed. I woke up around 7:00-7:30, and couldn't go back to sleep. Went to other hospital at 11:00 for my mother in law's shoulder surgery. She did great, even tho it was more extensive than they thought. Braden went home in early evening.

March 6...Had to go into my Mom's in the next state to take her to the eye doctor. Checked on my daughter and grandson, everybody is doing fine and gonna take a nap. FORGOT TO TAKE MY PHONE! Got a call after we returned to Mom's from my daughter and she is in the ER again and may be admitted. 85 on freeway, no problem! She is in ultrasound when I get there and they still can't tell what is going on. But she has not ruptured and finally has been able to get an OB appointment, which is the next day so considering her to be in stable condition they sent her home with pain meds.

March 7...OB appointment, they still can not see the baby, even though she IS pregnant, and they even had one of the 4D ultrasounds. So they didn't want to do anything until they could be sure of what is going on, so she has another appointment on Friday.

March 8...work at church

March 9...1:00 pm Leave for women's retreat...boy do I need this!
2:00 pm Melanie's Dr. Appointment
I am really torn about going, with not knowing what is going to happen at her appointment. I would go up later, but I am working registration at three.

Is this a good enough excuse for not posting?

Oh and I guess that really explains why I have gone thru atleast 3-4 gallons of ice cream and gained 3 or 4 gallons of weight also!

Ooops!

2007-01-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid all my healthy eating went by the wayside today as I took hubby into emergency as we were no longer able to control his pain. They admitted him and he has surgery tomorrow afternoon. The "small" piece of broken disc is now a "large" piece of disc that is broken off, hence the change in pain level.

He tried to stand up on the bad leg that is hurting so bad from his back, and the leg went down and so did he! Scared the crap out of me! I am really glad that he is in the hospital and is now on a morphine pump to control the pain.

Hospital food during off hours is not particularly weight watcher type healthy. Too tired to care today. But I found microwaves today so I will take a ww meal tomorrow and a banana, and have oatmeal in the morning. Should be better all the way around.

I am still here!

2007-01-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been silent on my end, but this week has been full of doctor appointments and tests and takin' care of my husband. He needs to have another back surgery and we are just trying to find a good surgeon around here so we don't have to go to Washington. Unfortunately he is in a lot of pain. He has a piece of his disc actually broken off and lodged in the nerve canal. And yes, it is as painful as it sounds.

I have not been tracking my points the last couple of days, but I am still eating healthy. I have not been on the treadmill but, living in a tri-level and waiting on your husband does have it's benifits with running up and down the stairs. Hauled all the laundry up two sets of stairs too, not to mention, getting ice pacs and heat pads, and pain meds, water, food etc etc etc. And then today was grocery shopping and then had to haul in all the bags which he usually does for me.

That's all for me today, gonna go take my fanny to bed!

Two Down Six To Go!

2007-01-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

Pretty bad when you have lost two pounds and still have six more pounds to go before you are back to where you started gaining from the holidays! Ughhhhh!

Note to self...No more giving myself permission to indulge!

Actually I think the holiday gain was more than that and I actually lost more this week on Prism. During the first couple of days the scale jumped up another four and then five pounds and then leveled off and started going down. Who knows what I managed to actually gain from the holidays?

Well, I have a pretty good idea, and it isn't good! Nothing like starting the year kicking yourself! Guess I am just gonna have to shake it off and get to work. I set myself up for this fall by not keeping track of my points, not being consistant with my exercise, and not taking care of myself. Case in point...the last time I tracked my points was on Nov. 27th, and even if that wasn't bad enough, there were a lot of days missing in the prior two months.

Time to get serious and really committed once again! As soon as I am done with this post I will be entering my breakfast points etc. Yes folks, I have learned my lesson!

Have a great healthy week!

Woo Hoo...Back to Weight Watcher's Tommorow!

2007-01-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

I can't wait! I have been getting lot's of walking in, and with the absence of sugar and white flour, I am not craving it so bad. I am ready to go back to ww tho! It's just so much easier for me. Not so restrictive. I can still employ a lot of the same principals that I learned in Prism plus what I need for my diabetes. And I can do it all within the ww program.

So tommorow is another new beginning! I like having a fresh start, but I am really not starting over just continuing on. I am feeling much better about things now that the holidays are over. I will always have challenges, but maybe someday I will learn how to have the goodies and not feel like I have thrown everything to the wind and use it as an excuse to eat and drink whatever I want. The flesh is so weak!

Hope everyone has a great week this week!

A Jammie kinda day!

2007-01-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted until now! It's about 2:30 and I am still in my jammies and taking it easy today just puttering around the house. I was in alot of pain yesterday and had no tylenol other than tylenol pm. I took a couple of those early in the evening and then stayed up to watch ER and finally ended up taking another tylenol pm and my nighty night meds as usual. Went to bed sometime after midnight but am kinda sluggish today and still sore but not as bad. I am gonna take a rain check on the walking today, but if all is well, will hit it again tomorrow!

Mornin'

2007-01-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

I am so glad that I went back on Prism this week. It is very difficult to stay on sometimes. I don't know how I did it before. But it really gets rid of the sugar cravings. And believe me, after all the chocolate and confections that come in for the staff at the church, starting in about November, I need to get rid of the sugar cravings!

That being said...bright and early Monday morning, I am going back on weight watcher's! I want to live and not obsess! It is very easy to obsess on Prism. You have to weigh and measure everything. Now, I am not saying that a reality check every now and then is not a good thing. I just want to be able to enjoy life at the same time.

I have weighed myself every morning since Monday and the scale was going up and up! I indulged right until the last second, so that didn't really suprise me. Yesterday it was at the same weight I started with on Monday. But this morning, I actually registered a loss of one pound. Curious to see what Monday brings. Don't think I will weigh again until then.

I want to thank you all for encouraging me with your comments, and of course for adding another minute to my walking. It is really appreciated! Snackie has given me a minute for today and tomorrow by proxy as she is on her way home.

Well, I gotta run and get my fanny into work, so have a great day!

Late Again!

2007-01-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I didn't get a post out this morning. Had to go do Mom's grocery shopping and then take them to her. Although she lives in the next state, it is only 15-20 minutes away!

She had me buy her ice cream and she was just bursting at the seams wanting some.

She is like a little kid these days so it was kinda fun to watch. She then went back into Mom mode and decided that I needed lunch and we HAD to go get some, even tho she was gonna have ice cream.

All I could find to eat was a naked burger with lots of mushrooms and a small bowl of fruit. It worked for me. Just will have to watch my calories tonight. Next I took her to a couple little dollar stores and took her back home. She is probably snoozing as we speak.

I made one more stop at a fabric store, and finally I am home. Full day of walking to say the least! Hey, can I count that for my exercise? Say yes, that will make my feet very Happy!

Day 2 of exercising for comments!

2007-01-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

I was gonna give myself a couple days of eating healthy before starting my walking again but due to my daughter being so cute and leaving me 7 (one word) comments, I guess I will start today, Don't want all that effort to go to waste. I will be adding 9 minutes to my treadmill time today. I usually start out with 15 minutes (beings I have been slacking for so long!) so today I will do 24 minutes. Thanks to all who participated yesterday. I will be watching today to see how much sweating I will be doing tomorrow. So feel free to push me all you can!

My eating went pretty good yesterday. It was hard to get my calories in, but I finally got it to within 10 calories. I need to do some shopping. Got 10 glasses of water in. Not bad for a start.

Maybe I am weird, but I already feel better about the sugar cravings. It's a mental thing. I am doing something about it so therefore no more cravings? Wonder if that works! Hmmmm!

Make sure you comment so I can walk these little fat legs off!

Will Exercise For Comments!

2007-01-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

Will Exercise For Comments!

Now, how shameless is that? I started back on my healthy ways today and am planning on going back to the treadmill on Wednesday which works out perfectly. The way this works is...I will add a minute on the treadmill Wednesday for each comment I get tommorow. Every day when I am doing my walking I will check my comments from the day before and add a minute for each one. Not only will this help me to walk longer but also I will have to post every day to get comments. This will also help me to stay focused on eating healthy. Nobody likes to post when you are slackin'! Thanks to Teena for this great idea!

Oh Crap!

2007-01-01T00:56:00.000-08:00

The new year is already here and I was gonna have all my weightloss stuff figured out by now so I could start today! I haven't even gone grocery shopping let alone figured out what to shop for. I knew I was going to start today. No excuses, I just am not sure what program I am going to follow.

I know I will be on weight watcher's for the long term but I am thinking I need to start with Prism, atleast for a week or so to detox from the sugar and junk I have eaten in the last month.

It has been a long time since I tried Prism, especially the first phase. It is really pretty strict. It does help to curb the cravings and now that I have been eating so much junk I am craving sugar again.

Ok, I have pretty well talked myself into kick starting this year with Prism phase one. I will do it for a minimum of one week, and then we will see how I am doing. I will stay on it as long as I can. I will just have to re-evaluate at the end of each week! Normally you are on phase one for six weeks. I am not really looking to be on it for that long before I switch to weight watchers, but I will for as long as I can.

Ok, now that all that is decided, I can go to bed! And a Happy New Year wish to all of you!

To all my weightloss buddies...I hope this is the year that you become "an after"

I'm FINALLY ready for Christmas!

2006-12-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

And it is only Christmas Eve!

As you can see, I had lots of help picking just the right bow for each and every package I wrapped!

But my little Midget finally got tired and decided to just wait (in) under the tree for Santa!

Hope you all have a great Christmas, and get wrapped up in the Joy of the season!

Ladies Night Out!

2006-12-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a "Ladies Night Out" with my friends and sisters from our church! We had a great time. Half of us were on various weight loss programs. Don't think we lost anything tonight! There were very sinful things to be had! Like creme puffs, and chocolatey gooey squares, and chocolate cheesecake, and that's just some of the desserts...then there were all the salads and main dishes that were nummy too! Can you guess I have gained 10 pounds? We had a great time, even tho we won't dare weigh in til next year!

We made this Christmas craft. They look much better in person. They were a lot of fun and really easy! I want to make one for my bathroom for all year as a night light!

And of course the gift exchange was very amusing. We were all on our best "Christian" behavior, until...the first gift was "stolen" by one of the ladies...then it was all over but the crying! I ended up with a beautiful hand made scarf. It is just gorgeous!

Look...I'm All Festive!

2006-12-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

Do you like it? My daughter, Melanie, blessed me with her great talent in blog design and made me a special Christmas template. I love it's simple elegance. To see more of her premade Christmas templates, just click here. Click on the thumbnails to see which ones are hers. Hey if you had a notion to decorate your blog for Christmas, please go check it out. Give the girl a break, she is trying to earn some Christmas money, she does a great job and they are so worth it. She goes to school full time and takes care of her family, (hubby & 5 kids). I have to admire her. And I am soooo not partial! LOL! Well, not too much! Hey, I am her Mom, what can I say?

Ok, I am Me again!

2006-11-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

If anyone still reads this...I am sorry I have been gone for so long. I have had an attitude adjustment now so I should be much better.

Actually I started a post last Friday around 10:30 pm. I didn't finish until around 3:30 in the morning. My simple weightloss post ended up encompassing a whole lot more than that. Like things that happened in my childhood, an abusive first marriage and where that all left me emotionally. There were direct correlations between events in my life and my weightgain.

After re-reading this post, All 5 pages of it, I realized this was not a post (and moved it into a document) but an unloading of the stuff that has kept me with this suit of armor (fat). Well, I am done with the past, and finally ready to live. With the Lord's help, I am going to do this. My armor of protection has held me back most of my life. This is going to change.

Is it going to change tomorrow? No! Will I always be up and on program? No! But I don't need the protection anymore, and that was a BIG realization. I have examined my life under a microscope and seen the garbage up close and personal. I have now dealt with it and broke the chains that were holding me.

I started eating for me, to fuel my body, not soothe my emotions and pain, on Monday. My scale already shows a 3 pound loss, but who knows by next week? That's another thing...I think I will just weigh when I feel like it and not worry about a "weigh-in" day!

That is a lot of stress to deal with, especially if your body decides to hang on to some fluid on that particular day. I don't like justifying it, well, it's water retention, maybe I had something with too much salt! Whatever excuse we use, we still feel bad and lose part of our momentum. What really matters? Does it matter if we are up a half of a pound from last week? Or does what we have lost each month matter more? I feel this eliminates alot of the stress and dissapointment.

If I am up a half of a pound one week chances are, if I stay on the program, I will be down three the next week. Even if this was my pattern for the whole month, I will still show a loss for the month of five or six pounds, depending on the month. That is a lot better than my current plan. Weigh in the first week with a loss, then a gain, then I am disappointed and wonder what's the use? I sorta hang on and might lose another pound. Then the next week it is a gain and then I give up! So a month later I am usually up three or four pounds, until I muscle up enough courage to start over again.

I am sick of playing with the same five pounds all the time. I have dumped the garbage from my head and my heart. It's time to work on the outside of me too! The fat has no hold on me now. Go away...I don't need you anymore!

I better quit before this ends up to be five pages again! Glad to be back! Talk to you all soon!

Bleh!

2006-11-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

I am in "give up" mode right now, and I don't want to spread that around so I will post again when I can be more positive.

Have a great Thanksgiving!
Hugs, Tari

Progress Again and PTC

2006-11-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

Boy, if you read yesterday's post, you can see right through me now! I was being so transparent. That is a hard thing to do especially when you do not know who will be reading this. I know my fellow weight loss buddies (friends) will understand, but others who know nothing about me will really think I am a big whiner!

I was eating healthy yesterday and recording my points and I had 9 glasses of water. I got all my f&v in and 2 milks. I did not do any exercise tho as my head is still hurting too much. I need to give it a chance to calm down and release all the extra cerebral fluid. I was not totally idle yesterday...I did all the laundry and cooked dinner and did dishes etc. Nothing more strenuous than that tho. You are not inclined to do much when you have a bowling ball sitting on your shoulders. It feels like if you move too far in any direction that it will fall off.

I have a very good friend who will be having brain surgery on Thursday because of her Psuedo Tumor Cerebri and Arnold Chiari. She has had several surgeries up until this point. Some have helped but she is still in extreme pain. Please pray for her! And if you can go give her some love, prayers and good wishes. Kimmy is a wonderful single mom to her 11 year old son Jacob.

My trouble with psuedo tumor cerebri is nothing like what Kimmy suffers from. I would take some of her pain if I could if it would make her life better. She is an amazing person. I hope you go and visit her.

Here I Am Again!

2006-11-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

Boy, this is not a post that I want to write! I need to admit it, accept it and move on. Have you noticed my lack of posts? My lack of committment?

It all started with being soooo busy. Too busy all day and then having something to do every evening or just plain being mentally exhausted. So of course, I was too tired to cook. And hubby does not cook. So Subway cooked for us, or Wendy's, and finally I got to where Pizza Hut cooked for me, that won't happen again, but that is another post!

The evil one sure uses our busy life styles to destroy our spirits any way he can. I was doing so well, writing every bite down, exercising 3 times a week, and losing steadily. Then I got too busy, too tired, and two lazy. And now here I am, six pounds heavier, wondering what happened!

Here is a list of what I can see that happened:

Got too busy, too tired, and got overwhelmed;

didn't plan my meals
didn't cook at home
didn't do good food shopping
went out to eat
brought home food to eat
kept track of my points in my head
gave up counting points
ran out of bottled water
tried to keep track of what I drank at home
forgot to drink water at work
gave up drinking water
quit taking my meds
drank diet pop instead of water
built up too much cerebral fluid (not taking PTC meds)
retaining all sorts of fluid
not getting any exercise
my treadmill is collecting dust

This all equates to one miserable woman, who knows she can not drink pop, even diet, but did it anyway, and deliberately did not take pills after forgetting them already for a few days, so that she could have pop. DUMB DUMB DUMB! I started taking my pills again day before yesterday, I got really tired of looking like I went a couple rounds with Muhamed Ali. That's how bad my eyes swell from the pop. I know better. I am a grown woman with a brain, so why can't I seem to use it?

Now I am a month behind on my goals and I am six pounds heavier too, and my headaches are back! The joy of being dumb! I did not have pop yesterday. That is a victory! But I also did not drink all my water either. And I went out to breakfast, had a bread bowl and soup for lunch during a meeting at church, and a pot luck for dinner, with desert! Yikes...I want my good twin back! All I am recognizing right now is my bad twin!

I am writing my food and water intake down today and taking my meds and I AM going to drink my water, all of it! Pray for me you guys, my spirit is broken and it is hard to be determined when you feel broken!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2006-11-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

Yep, I am officially old today! But don't tell anybody! I deny it all the time! The candles trailing off into the distance of this cake are probably about right though!

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T07:30:00.000-08:00

Watch out for all the ghosties, ghoulies, and CALORIES!

Can you believe it?

2006-10-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

It has been 11 days since I posted on here. I am so sorry! I have been so busy at work the last two weeks filling in for the executive Pastor's wife at the office. And then in the evening I had to catch up with all my growth group administrator stuff. Just suffice it to say...I have been swamped!

I feel lost...I don't even know what is going on with any of you! I promise to check on all of you this weekend tho! As for me, I have been doing a great job of maintaining. And I guess I should be thankful, and I am! I deserve to gain, as I have not had time or energy to cook the last couple of weeks. I am going to be much more faithful to my goals after Wednesday of next week when things get back to normal for me. I am not having a start over date...because I am not starting over! I will eat healthy whenever I can. That is just when I expect things to calm down for me.

I really would like to ask you all a favor tho! Those of you who are on weight watchers...would you please send me one (or 10) of your favorite weight watcher recipes? I know there are a lot of sites that have some recipes, but I want ones that you have tried and really like. I trust you all more than the sites. I am in a rut, and seems like I am just fixing protein, small amount of good for you carbs, and veggies. I need a little excitement in my menus, or atleast a change. If you can help, I would be forever greatful. Do I have to grovel and beg? Cuz, I will!

Please!

Wow, I missed Monday!

2006-10-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

But I did weigh-in! Just didn't get a chance to post. It has been a very busy week and we ate out way too many times. I did some "good for you" costco shopping last night after work, so that should help.

Got some good exercise moving mom though. First packing all her canned foods, 11 big boxes of them, and then unpacking them all the next day. Lot's of strength training. And good stretching and bending. Woo hoo! I was tired and my knees and hip were hurting but nothing like I would have been before. I would have been down for 3 days easy! I am not ready to run back over and help with some more unpacking just yet but, I'm not in bed either.

I am working all this week and next in the church office, and crazy busy at night, so I probably won't be on here much. But know I love you guys and I will check in as time permits. have a great week!

Oh I almost forgot...I lost another pound! Geez! I want to lose 26 more pounds before 2007. That will be my best present to myself. Gotta get busy! No more going out to eat, by choice anyway! See ya soon!

Such a dummy!

2006-10-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had Bible study in the morning and I left the church at 11:45 and had a growth group coaches meeting at 12:30 and it was almost in the next state, so...I wanted to just go through the drive-thru at Wendy's and grab one of the taco supreme salads, which is basically the chili and a green salad. I never eat the chips or the sour cream etc. Well when I ordered it, the name was slightly different than I remembered. Anyway I ordered it and a bottle of water. When I pulled up in the parking lot and opened the bag, it was the same salad but it came with a chipolte dressing and little tortilla strips. This isn't the same salad...Arggghh! Oh well, I had to suck it up. I didn't have time to do anything about it. So I dumped the 10 gram of fat dressing on the bare salad and ate it. I was on the last bite or two when I noticed the little bag they had given me with it. There sits my chili! I could have got bye with 6 points instead of 10. Geez! I felt so stupid! When did they change my salad? Usually I just buy a small chili and bring it home and pour it on my own salad. 99 cents and 6 points and I am good to go.

Guess I need to plan better on these days and bring something portable to eat on the way. Live and learn.