Sunday, June 25, 2006

Day One Again!

Well, here I am! I was a good girl today! Food wise anyway! And I drank all my water, but too pooped and too hot for exercise today! Glad the car show and yard sale is over, now I can get rested up, and concentrate on VBS, and my health! Both of which really need my attention!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Two More Days!

Ok, I am living it up, or killing myself slowly, depending on your point of view! Eatin' and drinkin' whatever! I feel so yucky, so why do I do it? I am killin myself....really! Can't wait till the 25th! And I got the greatest thing today! I got a stationary bike that you sit on and your legs go straight out...are those called the recumbant bikes? Anyway it is cool and I am excited! Sorry can't stay around and chat...way too busy right now! Talk to ya all on the 25th!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Here I am Again!

That's right...I am in the same spot that I always end up in. You know the one! You start a diet or program and do pretty good and then for one reason or another you either quit losing or quit trying. Well, I am there AGAIN! I don't know why I do this. This time I just didn't have the money to buy food that is good for me. Barely had money to buy any food. Had to pay off a doctor bill this time so was pretty short for this pay period. 6 more days till pay day.

I have been sick too which has not helped. Still running a fever. Guess I am not in the best frame of mind to be doing a post. But here I am anyway!

Now I gotta confess my sins to any of you who will listen to me. I bought a mountain dew last week. Any of you who have read my blog know that I am a dewaholic, and I can not have it, not even a sip. It does terrible things to me. The one I bought was a fountain pop. When hubby got home I gave it to him. It just didn't taste good to me. You would think that would have been the end of it, but oh no...not for me. I bought a bottled dew at chevron the next day. It was really not cold enough to entice me to drink it all so I left it in the car when we went to group. When we got home, hubby went to bed and I was on the puter...where else? I was thirsty so I drank the room temperature dew, all of it! That is how it started again. I drank dew for four whole days. I was totally miserable. I was bloated and retaining fluids, and having a hard time breathing and craving it more and more. I had to go back on my meds for psuedo tumor which started all the tingling in my hands and feet and made me sleep too much. What a mess I made of myself again! Why do I do this. It really never did taste any good to me this time. And to top it off, I gained 13 pounds since I had last weighed two weeks before. Thirteen Pounds! Can you believe it? Well, I weighed again a day and a half later and the scale was down eight pounds. It was mostly all fluids, but geeeeez!

So here I am trying to get motivated to do it again. What is there that is going to make this time different? What will assure me that I won't get bored, won't just get depressed, or give up? What is my magic combination that is gonna make it work? Sure I have support online from all of you, but what can you do really? If I am looking at a mountain dew commercial and really wanting one...are you gonna stop me? I don't think so! If I am feeling lazy and don't want to get on the treadmill, are you gonna make me do it? Nope, not likely! Are my friends gonna know when I am weak and come force me to do what I should? No again! I really am in this alone...just me! I have to want it. I have to need it. Not for hubby, not for my doc, not for my kids, but FOR ME! It has to be for me. Do I have to write one thousand times "I can do this! I will do this! This is for me! I will eat healthy! I will exercise! I will feel good about me!" Is that what it takes?

I don't know what is going to do it. I have tried everything from diet pills to some weird cow placenta injections, to phen-fen, to weight watchers, to prism, to Atkins, to low fat, to low carb, to cabbage soup, to grapefruit, sugar free, fat free, carb free, you name it! I truly think that just eating healthy foods in moderation and balance is the way to go. Whole grains, watch the fat, no processed sugar, eat fresh foods whenever possible, and increase your fiber. Atleast I know that it works and as natural a form of foods as you can get. Eat what God gave us to eat. keep that in mind and you will be healthier. Of course as far as weight loss goes, portion control is key.

I know all the why am I still coming back to this same point of desperation and dissapointment? I know that if I just made it under 200 pounds I would be able to succeed. It really isn't that far to go to get there. It seems so much more manageable then. One little bit at a time and I would be there. I can do it, I know it, but now it just seems so far a dream or something!

I am beginning to see that I am gonna have to set small goals and make it to them and then gear up for the next one, maybe take a break in between or something. Keep a diary while getting to goal and then just keep track in my head during the break...I don't know. I think I can manage weight watchers. I can incorporate all my eating healthy beliefs into the program. Ok, now I decided on my program and how I will do it and I will break it up into sensible small goals instead of trying to look at the overwhelming big goal. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Ok! Now...when can I start this? I am thinking not untill a week from Sunday. We get paid on Friday but I will be working on the yard sale set up all day Friday. And Saturday is the car show. I am doing registrations and then working on the sale also. Won't feel much like shopping but can probably get enough to start Sunday! Ok, now for the E favorite, you can tell huh? Ok, I can walk on the treadmill 15 minutes a day, every day, and walk outside 3x/week (if it will just stop raining) and I have an upper arm workout I can do 3x/week. I will see how I do with this before committing to anything else.

Are you all gonna help me stay with this? Are you gonna keep me accountable? Are you gonna be the little voices sitting on my shoulder talking to me when I am staring fondly at my bed and feeling like I need a nap, or am hanging on the frig door when I gazing inside for something yummy? Are you going to point out the nice fresh fruit? I hope so, I would do it for you ya know? See ya on the 25th!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Give me my fruits and veggies!

A Funny for you all!

Oh, I am getting soooo tired of eating junk! Wow, is this ever a different attitude! I am really craving my veggies! Hopefully I will be able to eat my good stuff again real real soon! (Before I gain 20 pounds) Please!

Thursday, June 08, 2006


NO "good for me" food! NO money for food! NO good mood!

Monday, June 05, 2006

weigh in tomorrow

What was I thinking? I had one and a half diet pops today and now I am all swollen up! Arggggg! What is up with that? As if I haven't sabotaged myself enough this week! Maybe I did it on purpose on some sub-conscious level so I could blame the pop and retaining fluids for my weight gain! Hmmmmmm! I will have to think about that one! Pop does that to me and I know it! I always feel worse when I drink it, and I don't think I had enough water either....geeez!

Well...maybe I will wait to weigh in til afternoon after I have a chance to get rid of some of the fluid! My ankles are swollen and my legs are all tight. I really have ChubbyToes now! I am half thinking about taking one of my pills now, but then I will be up all night tripping over one of the dogs and sending the cat flying, so I can get to the bathroom, and I will get no sleep, and then be sore all over tommorrow and won't get anything done, that is on my list for tommorrow. It is home blessing day, and that is on my schedule. Oh, Poop! What to do? If I don't take anything then I run the risk of having problems with my psuedo tumor cerebri, but if I recooperation time!
Sleep/swollen/hard on my heart/flare up PTC vs. Running all night/no sleep/sore muscles/hip flare up/but no brain or heart problems???
Maybe I'll sleep on it! Or maybe I will sleep IN it...if I take my pill that is...I already took my advil pm to sleep. Maybe I just won't wake up! Ewwwwwwwwwwww! That would be awful! I don't think hubby ever signed on for that! I am sure that I didn't either! I don't plan on having to wear diapers for many years yet!
Somebody please stop me from posting this late at night! It is never a good thing! Nite!

UPDATE!!! I broke down and took a pill and risked the flood! Well, I didn't drown my husband, but boy when he got up to take a shower, was I ever in a big hurry to get to the potty!!! lol! I was still so puffy this morning, although the swelling in the extremeties was better, that I took two more pills and decided not to weigh in this week after all! My eyes looked like hamburger buns! I hate it when that happens! They are still pretty swollen. Will I ever learn? I get real sleepy on the meds so slept most of the day. What a wasted day!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Easy is NOT to be associated with eating healthy!

Ok, I think "easy" is completely out of line! This is not easy. I have had sooo many challenges lately. I have not gone over my points, but I'm not sure it is all the healthiest either!

Part of it has been the parade. We had a community parade this morning that I was coordinating for our church. I had over 35 pounds of candy at my house. I had 7 pieces of salt water taffy yesterday which is three points. Then I was supposed to be walking the parade and handing out flyers for our Vacation Bible School, and our car club. I was looking forward to this as I would be able to get some exercise...well, the girl that was going to ride in the back of the truck with the kids decided she would rather hand out flyers, so there you exercise this week! : (

Maybe I should schedule my exercise time....hmmmm! I could do that. That might help! Yeah right, who am I kidding? I need some help help! I need "Exercise for Dummies".