Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Almost Perfect Diet

I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola - and
was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... DUH!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before
I woke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the
bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an
easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse
with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
once again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital?

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car
hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

This was sent to me by my co-worker who started back on Prism with me this Monday! She is a great accountability partner! Cool thing is that everypne has been bringing in tomatoes lately! Woo hoo!


Blogger tugboat 54 said...

That is hilarious....I laughed so hard I made a snorting noise

September 07, 2007 9:53 PM  
Blogger ...jus me said...

Don't cha love it? I thought it was great!

September 08, 2007 11:28 AM  

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