I did ok!

I survived lunch out with my mom (at the buffett). I probably ate more than I should have, but I ate healthy, as healthy as you can in those places. Melon and fish and salad with a few drops of oil and vinegar and lots of veggies and a cold broccoli salad. It was yummy! I had to estimate my points but I came a lot closer to my goal of 28 points yesterday. And I walked briskly for 45 minutes so that gave me 4 AP. woo hoo!

The scale and me are happy too so far this week. We will see how it all works out on Monday. lol!

309 Days to Go

Geez, I wasted almost a month messin' around before I finally went back on program and even gained weight. I hope I can still make my goal by July 4th.

I had a good day today also. I am having some difficulty drinking my water though! I go through this sometimes and am just not thirsty. What's up with that? Only had 40 oz. so far today. It is 10 pm and I am still drinking. I know what I will be doing tonight!

I started on my antibiotics today. They usually wipe me out. I am such a wimp with meds. I finally got brave and called my nuerologist to tell him that I started taking my Diamox again and the results of that. I was not looking forward to calling him beings I went against doctors orders by going back on them. He was very gracious though and admitted that it must be the psuedo tumor cerebri again. He was going to call in another prescription for me. I hate taking pills and I am taking all kinds of them again. Oh well, it has to be better than the headaches.

Do you weight watcher people out there have any ideas on what I can eat that is not too filling but that will add a few points for me? The problem I am having is I am not using all my points. Yesterday, I ate so much and still had four food points left. Today I have 7 points left. And then I had activity points also (which I don't plan to use) I don't just want to fill the points up with junk. I am going to get some yogurt which will help a bit as I don't always get my milk (dairy). Any ideas?

2 AP
vitamins...yep
21 points
f&v...yep
water...yep (48 oz.) That's only the minimum, but maybe more tomorrow!

I need to snooze, so talk to ya all tomorrow! Thank you for the encouragement!

Oh, I forgot...if you think about it and are so inclined say a little prayer for me tomorrow, or send some good thoughts my way! I have to go in and do my Mom's grocery shopping. That's not bad, but she always wants to take me to lunch for coming in and doing it. (her way of feeling like she is paying for gas etc. and she loves to go out to eat) She lives in the next state. It's not really that far and I would gladly do it anyway, but this gives her an excuse to get to go out. This has been a downfall for me, food wise! She usually wants to go for hamburgers at a sit down restaurant or out for chinese. I need to be very careful. Now, I am really off to bed! Nite!

Made it one day!

Yep, I did good today, but beings it's like the first day back at it...it's not that nobody cares, but you know when you have started over so many times you kind of lose your credibility. I am sure you are all wondering just how long it is going to last this time. I don't blame you, I feel the same way. Hopefully I will be able to prove us all wrong!

I have...used 24 of 28 points
drank 72 oz. of water
taken my vitamins
walked for 15 min. on treadmil
rode my bike for 5 min. (back was hurting)
I am still gonna walk another 10 minutes on the treadmil tonight.

Well, it is a good thing that I went to the doctor today as I do have a sinus infection and it had already started going into my chest. He said my lungs were rattling! Oh joy! Also my neck was way out but everything else was doing well. As soon as the soreness goes away now, I should be good as new! It will be so nice to be pain free! See ya tomorrow, have a great night!

Woo Hoo, Here We Go Again!

Oh it feels good to be back on Weight Watcher's! The scale wasn't pretty though! Ouuuu! So I gained a bit! How much is a bit anyway? The important part is...I am back! And no matter what each day brings, I'm still going to be working on this goal.

It really doesn't matter if I break down and have a piece of cake one day...as long as I don't decide I have already blown it and go back for seconds and then a Mountain Dew to top it off. It would be very easy for me to then try to eat everything I have been denying myself, because, I have already blown it, right? How many times I have done that! And one dessert turns into two, and then the rest of the night and then feeling like a failure the next day...well, you know, you gotta start fresh. But now I have to talk myself into it again. Oh I am just not ready, and I really don't have enough good food, maybe after payday...and on it goes.

That was me in a nutshell! I have had some good proof that this is not the way to do it. I read the blog Half of me, and well, I have to tell you, Pasta Queen, was a few pounds heavier than me when I started reading her blog, so I identified with her, until I read how much she had lost. The lady is amazing. Well, since I have been blowing it, feeling guilty, and starting over a bazillion times, she is some 30 pounds lower than me. Not that she has lost every week. But she doesn't beat herself up about it, and just keeps going. Pasta Queen, I admire you! Slow and steady wins the race. I am hoping to take a page out of your book and just keep plugging away.

So, you all, that's my new goal...JUST KEEP GOING!

On the health issue, going in to my doc this afternoon. Gonna have my neck adjusted and hopefully get something for my sinuses. With any luck, I will be headache free after that settles down.

This n' That

I found a search in my stats for fat, chubby porn! I'm sorry but that is just wrong, on soooooo many levels!

Still feeling kinda cruddy, but the cranial pressure is getting a bit better every day. Who says doctors know everything?

I am almost out of junk food! Yippee! Sure wish my son could have gone with us camping. Him and the hubby could have put away some of this junk...better them than me! That's not the only reason I wanted him to go though! I really like having him around. He has grown into such a great guy! Now if God would just find me a wonderful daughter in law and give me lots of grandbabies, then we would all be happy.

I am very anxious to get back on weight watchers. I feel so yucky eating this way. Is yucky really a word? I think I will bag up hubby's chips for his lunches, and some of the pretzels and the rest of the licorce. The rest of the big 6 lb. bag of costco pretzels will have to go to the kids. Then it's shopping time...only good stuff! woohoo!

The things we do!

Ya know, the way I was feeling, I would not have gone to "family camp". My hubby soooo needed to get away from work and relax in a different atmoshere. That and the pre-paid site and activity fee, is the only reason I went.

It was all I could do to get everything together. Actually all I had to do was the house stuff. Hubby got all the outside stuff. Luckily we had a master camping list that I keep on my good ole puter. My daughter and I made it a couple of years ago when we went camping together. It proved to be a very good list.

I got carried away with junk food. Took anything and everything I could think of for hubby and I to munch on. I never buy this stuff so I really went crazy. Now I have all this junk in my house, cuz we hardly ate anything....ughhhh! And guess what? I don't want it! Thought we would share alot! Everybody was trying to share with us! My daughter and the twins came up on Saturday afternoon and even they didn't eat much of it. They made cute little creatures with the ritz crackers using the raisins and m&m's and peanuts from the trail mix for faces. Guess I will stick to fruit next year. I didn't bring any pop though! I drank water all weekend and got hubby "Talking Rain Ice" 20 calories per bottle. He doesn't need to watch his calories that much but I would love to see him NOT drinking pop.

My headaches were so bad yesterday I never really got any relief from it except when I was asleep. So guess what I did all day? Well, as much as possible! And I slept last night too. The congestion makes me snore even when I am awake...hate it when that happens!

The doc didn't want me to take any of my diamox until I saw the eye doctor but I can't get into him until the 7th and I need to get rid of this pressure so I can handle life again, so sorry doc, but I took my piddle pill! We will see if that helps. I have to get the pressure off before I can go get my neck adjusted also, and it needs it, and is contributing to the pain. It is a vicious circle. The pressure builds up, my headaches start, then because of the pressure my neck goes out and causes it's own headaches, then, even if I have it adjusted it will go right back out until all the pressure is down....what a mess I am!

Why do I try to post when I am hurting? All I do is whine! Sorry you guys! Goin to bed!

Home!

Back from camping...sick...no exercise...nothing but headaches...and now head congestion too! Whoopie!

Drank all my water...but that's all I am doin today!

My Day!

Just a quick update on my doctor's appointment...He found nothing definative to say it was indeed my psuedotumor cerebri returning. That should be good news and in a way it is, but...what is it then? We have no answers for that! I have to make an appointment with my eye specialist tommorrow, so he can check it from his end of things.

I did not have to have a lumbar puncture (spinal tap)! That was great news! I don't like them messing around with my spinal column any more than they have to! Scarey stuff!

My doc was thrilled that my weight was down a little more than 18 pounds since I saw him last May! Made me a happy camper too! I hope to be a lot lower than that next time I see him.

He gave me some meds for my restless leg syndrome. I am anxious to start that tomorrow and see if it helps. He said it may help my sleep also. Bonus!

He also gave me something for my headaches. I really hate taking medication, but the relief would be nice. I would rather find out what is causing them and fix it!

My daughter went with me to my appointment in case I had to have a lumbar puncture. We really had a nice day after my appointment was done. We stopped at Good Will and found some treasures and then took a trip down memory lane. We checked out all our old houses that we used to live in, and thought about a lot of people and places we hadn't thought about in a long time. Then we went back downtown to have lunch at our favorite old time fast food joint that we used to eat at when her and the boys were little.

Aw! The Memories! All in all it was a great day! I don't get nearly enough time
to spend with my daughter anymore! I miss her!

Oh and I have not exercised at all today or had but one glass of water...I know, I am bad! And it is 9:00pm and hubby is still not home from work, so we have not eaten either! Ughhhh!

Update...It's almost 11:00 pm and I am almost ready for bed. I have been downing water like it is going out of style...I really will be floating! (or up all night!) I am on my last glass. Still no exercise to speak of. We did a lot of shopping...does that count?

Waterlogged!

I'm sloshing as it is...I don't want to drink more water and add more to my over inflated body! Well, that is my kind of logic for the day! Not that the water I drink will go to my head...lol!

I don't know what has gotton into me today. I have not walked on the treadmill yet or rode my bike either. Geeez! Hubby is not going to be home until about 7:30 tonight so I guess I should go do it! I will take my water with me!

UPDATE...I got all my exercise in...woo hoo! And I drank the water that I had to, but sure wish it could have been more. I definately will not get my 7 hours tonight tho as it is after 1:00 am and I still am not in bed. I could probably sleep, but RLS is giving me fits. I think it might be from riding my bike. Gonna take some tylenol, maybe it will calm down. Nite all!

323

Guess it's not good to gain six pounds in one day huh? Well, that's just what I did!

First let me assure you, I am doing everything I said I would do towards my health goals. Yes, I am exercising my 20 minutes or more each day, and drinking all my water, taking my vitamins, and gettting 8 hours sleep and all that.

The problem is...I have psuedo tumor cerebri. I have been in remission, but I am afraid that it is back. If you would like to know a little more about it just click here to read my explanation on my other blog " in my jammies" Basically, for whatever reason, my body makes too much cerebrial fluid which builds up around the brain and causes pressure to build there and in the spinal column. It can be very serious. I was lucky that the medication worked for me. I have been off it since 2003. It has some uncomfortable side effects, but I am still very lucky.

As soon as I am back on the meds the fluid will be gone in a couple days and the I will drop the weight as well. I am not usually a slave to the scale, but I have been trying to monitor my PTC so I have been watching closely. See, this is the fourth time in a month and a half so I am pretty sure it is time to see my nuerologist. My appointment is tomorrow at 10:00. I will be glad to be free of the headaches and pressure again, even though I do not like being on meds.

Well, I am off to walk before I have to lay my punkin head down again...later!

I've been Tagged!

Actually this is the very first time I have been tagged! (Thank-you "Think off the Fat") Does this mean I am a real blogger now? And no, it does not mean I want to be tagged by everybody and their uncle either! It took me two days to do this one!

I am supposed to name 5 weird things about myself and then tag 3 others. So here goes;

1. I am a woman that probably lets most of the female population of the world down...I do not like shoes! I grew up in Santa Cruz, California and hardly ever wore them. They are the first thing to come off when I get in the door. (My bra runs a close second!) Now, living in Idaho, I have to wear them atleast in the winter time. Otherwise it is flip flops!
2. I have to have blankets to cuddle up under at night, even if it is 100 degrees! I need the "weight" of them to sleep!
3. I have been known to lick my margarita off the table if it spills!
4. There are more animals sleeping in my bed at night than people. Yes hubby and I share our queen size bed, with an eight year old long haired doxie, who sleeps under the covers by our legs, a 20 something pound cat who either flops by my head or sleeps on my feet, and the new kitty who sleeps on a koosh pillow by my head or between our shoulders. The other two dogs sleep on the bedroom floor for me to trip over when I get up at night.
5. Now this isn't really weird, atleast not to us, but it may be to some. I have been blessed to watch each and every one of my five grandchildren come into the world.

Now I am off to tag three more unsuspecting souls! Who will it be?

325

That has a good ring to it, don't you think? 325 days seems like plenty of time to lose down to my big goal weight. I do understand how fast time can go though! If only I could lose it as fast I can gain it!

It's funny but now that I am exercising, I am looking at what I am eating in a different way. As I look at the calories click off on my treadmill and stationary bike, I really realize how hard it is to work them off, then maybe I shouldn't have those cookies on Sunday morning just because they are there. Or maybe that extra bite or two of this or that is really not worth working it off! What a concept! Why didn't I get this before? For every action there has to be an equal reaction. If only it was as hard to eat as it is to exercise!!!

I am doing good tho with my goals for this first two weeks! I have had my vitamins and all my 64 oz. of water. I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes and then jumped on the bike for 10 minutes. I am getting up early enough, but still not getting to sleep early enough. I have sleep issues so this does not suprise me. Eating dinner earlier is going to be hard for me, but I am becoming aware just how late I do eat. This to shall pass!

326

Well, I did everything on my list yesterday except going to bed early. Guess I need to work on that one. Walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I had intended to do 10 minutes on the treadmill and 10 on the bike but when I went out to use the bike, and then moved the big tool box over so I could see the little tv while on the bike, got everything all set up and then found out that I could not even get on the bike. Hubby had adjusted it down to the shortest to get it in the truck...Gee thanks hon! He even asked me if I had tried it now, since he had adjusted it, when I asked him if he could move the seat up......GRRRRRRRR! He knew no one could use it that way. Men!
But other than that...I am doing good. I am sure I used a few extra calories being irratated at my man! Ya think?

Update: Ok I am over it and hubby redeemed himself. He was a sweetie and adjusted my bike. Now my legs are like rubber!

327 Days To Go

OK, here I am, shocked ya didn't I? I am ready to do it! I did the official weigh-in today and I'm ready to get on the treadmill. Oops, the moment passed! Just kidding! I am serious, I am gonna do it!

I can concentrate on the exercise and taking care of me first before the dreaded food part! Woo hoo! More often than not, I can not afford to eat properly. Some people who like to throw stones, say that is just another excuse, but we all know that when you try to buy all those fresh fruits and veggies all the time your food bill goes thru the roof.

I have been down this diet road enough times to know that it is not going to be easy! For me it is never easy. The only easy diet I have ever been on is the D-I-V-O-R-C-E diet! I dropped the weight, but the price was too high! You won't ever see me on that one again!

Well, it's off to the treadmill for me. Have a great day!

Check it out!

Just wanted to let you know that I (finally) added five more blogs to my friends list! I have been reading them for awhile but have been too lazy to add them! I prefer to think I have been too busy, and I have been busy, but I think it is more that I was too lazy! So just letting you know so you can go check them out. It is the five on the bottom of my list.
It is almost Friday and I am ready to start my "new me" project! I am giving myself until July 4th of 2007 to lose the majority of the weight that I want to lose. Then I can fine tune from there. I figure Independance Day is a good day to be Independant again! Step out on my own without my protective shelter! I am doing it this time, so hide and watch! I won't be perfect, but I am doing it!

It must be time!

Then it must be time!

Believe me folks, it is time! I have been thinking about this for a long time. Sorry but that is why I have not posted lately. I have been so ashamed of myself. I start something and then a couple days later I am confessing my sins and failures. I would start this idea and that idea, this plan and that plan. Truth is none of them have worked for me. I know what works for me! So why was I searching? I know what plan I will go on when I start working on the food end of things, now however, I have another plan to work on. My own...my very own! I know that if I am exercising and expending all that energy...I am not going to go out and have an ice cream sundae, or sit down with a chocolate bar. Are you kidding me? Exercise is just too hard for me to waste it!

There is something that I have never been able to do, and that is to visualize myself thin. I have never been at my ideal weight, in my adult life. I have, however been at the weight I would eventually like to settle in at. When I was at that weight, I thought I was sooooo fat. I truly hated myself. I thought that was why I had such a hard time socially in high school, when in fact, it was probably that I didn't like myself. You carry yourself much different when you are confident in who you are and comfortable in your own skin. I was not one of those girls.

When I was around 11 or 12, I went to stay a week or two with my sister and brother-in-law. They lived in apartments with a pool. Well, I was just starting to develop and still had the baby fat as well. My brother in law agreed to take me swimming. His buddy and his visiting sister-in-law were swimming also. She was a little older than me and was more into showing off her newfound body (with no baby fat). Of course the guys were noticing. I overheard my brother in law saying that he wished HIS sister in law looked like that, blah blah blah and blah blah blah! For some reason, that is still sticking with me. My brother in law was a DJ for one of the best radio stations at that time, hey if he didn't like me, and we were family, how would anybody ever like me?

Well, I have learned alot since then. And Jack is no longer my brother in law. He was cheating on my sister. Now he is an old man with white hair...lol! Trouble is his words still ehco in my ears. I am working on that.

The Lord has taught me alot. He doesn't make mistakes. And I am a daughter of the King.

Ok having said that...here's what I am doing starting Friday.

Get up earlier

Take multi-vitamin

drink 64 oz water daily

exercise 20 min each day, or 100 minutes per week!

eat dinner no later than 6:30

go to bed earlier

That is the plan for the next two weeks. I think I am going to be eating alone alot as my hubby does not get home by 6:30 quite often but, if I am going to go to bed earlier, I need to eat earlier.

Wish me luck guys, this is just the first stage of my new life. I am going to be healthier and stronger and more able to live.