Stayin' Alive

Not much to report...just stayin' alive! So far so good on Prism. I have been drinking all my water and staying in the right range on calories etc. Doin good, I guess!
My hip is flared up so my treadmill has been sporadic. If I am not crouching in a corner in pain then I will walk longer. When I am letting the world go by, I will walk atleast 10 minutes just to limber up.
What a whiney post...sorry! Gotta go spend the day with my mommy in law. She is not feelin too good and has lots of health issues and just wants some company. So I need to get my big fanny up and off my puter and go see her. She is in the next state, but it only takes about an hour to get there. See ya later!

Prism

I was asked about Prism so I will try to explain the program. Prism is a program that is founded on Christian principles, honesty and discipline. It deals with all of you, not just your weight. It looks at your emotions, your food addictions, the way you were brought up to think about food...was it a reward, or offered for comfort? You learn about good fats, not just bad fats. There is a wealth of knowledge available in the program.
You are not counting carbs or fats. You do keep track of your calories.

PHASE ONE

Fruits and veggies:
You can eat all veggies and fruits except potatoes
Grains & Cereals:
You can have 1 cup sugar free oatmeal, whole grain
1 serving sugar free cold cereal per day
No more than one cup of rice (preferably brown) per day
No more than 2 large (3") unflavored brown rice cakes per day
Should have atleast 2, but no more than 3, from this list.
Milk/Dairy:
You can have milk, buttermilk, sugar free yogurt, sour cream, cottage cheese, or cream cheese.
Preferably low fat or non fat.
Protein:
all lean meats, fish, poultry, plus all beans legumes, lentils, eggs, and all natural, no sugar added peanut butter.

You can really have a lot of different foods, just have to count the calories. I have to say, I was NEVER hungry, and there were many days when I was scrambling to get enough calories. It is very important to get enough calories or your body will use the lean muscle (not good)! The average calories is from 1000-1200 per day for women, unless you are 250 pounds or more then you need to up the calories range to 1300-1500. Also if you exercise every day you need to up the calories to the same range.

There is daily reading and usually some probing questions to answer to help you to understand yourself better as well as daily scriptures to read if you want. You do not have to be a Christian to join Prism. The scriptures are an option. The whole idea is to become what you were created to be! For me, that is my goal!

If you want to join Prism, and to find one near you, go to their website www.pwlp.com

Nitty Gritty

Ok, so here's the deal...I figured I better weigh again today because I am starting Prism TODAY!

Still shows a gain of 3 pounds! Darn, it wasn't just a fluke!





Beings I won't get to weigh for SIX WHOLE WEEKS...how will I survive? I did my measurements! I am doing the Happy Dance here though! I had last measured on March 6th. I lost a total of 15 1/2 inches just since the 6th! My treadmill is doing me proud! I even gained 1/2" in my thigh...all muscle, I am sure! Pretty soon I will look like Swartzeneger from the hip down, well, sorta! Trouble is the top will be hanging over the bottom...Yuck, what a visual!
I have a total loss now of 46 1/2 inches since January 4th! Before you all go and get excited or anything...that is over 16 different measurements! But it is still considerable!




So here I am, at the threshold. Six long weeks looming in front of me! Prism is very strict! Especially the first phase. It really is what I need right now so here we are. I got myself into this mess, luckily I don't have to get out of it on my own. I have all of you for support, and I really appreciate it! And Mel...I know you won't try to tempt me either! And just so I won't do something stupid...hold on a sec...





There we go, I feel better now...Hey daughter of mine, will you hold the key for me?

Changing strategy

I have made a decision...yep, I am weak! I can not do this on my own! I am not giving myself big enough boundaries! I need the structure of a program for awhile! I need to go back to basics and rid my body of all addictions for the time being! Give it a fresh start! Although I had lost 23 pounds, (gained 3 pounds this week)doing it on my own, I just feel strongly that I need to flush all the toxins etc. from my body. I think I really have an addiction to wheat and I know I do to sugar (don't we all have the sugar thing?). So I am going back on Prism! I lost 33 pounds on this program when I was doing it through my church! Atleast through the first phase which allows no starches except for brown rice cakes and brown rice and I think I can have my cheerios or oatmeal in the morning. Only for a total of 3 per day. Everything is weighed and measured and recorded. Yuck! But I need the structure right now! If I start tomorrow, that will end phase one on May 9th. No weighing until then either. I will measure tomorrow morning so I can keep track that way. I will continue with the treadmill and am starting an upper body workout also. Look out daughter! I may just catch up with you!

What's wrong with this picture?

Ok, tell me again why we wanted Summer to get here! Didn't you say something about how good we would look by summer if we ate healthy and exercised every day? Yeah, I think that was it! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...What went wrong with this plan? I don't think this is at all what we had in mind! So let's kick some butt Sis! Atleast we gotta lose our side boobs by summer! lol!
Love you and glad you are back! love mom

Ok, I am back.

Sometimes something has to happen before you realize that something really has to happen. I have not been following my "new years resolution" to lose weight since about three weeks in. My mom has been moving along and I have been staying back for one reason or another. She is the one who maintains this blog, our blog, while I sit back and munch my cupcakes.

Tonight, I was at the department store. I need a new bra, as mine is gross and old. Bra shopping when you are fat is the worst experience a woman can go through. It's hard enough when you simply have hooters from hell but add the extra liability of the "side boobs" and it is near impossible. I picked out six different bras and was impressed that companies are starting to realize that even though you are a double d, does not mean you need such a hideous looking under garment. They had a wide variety in cute colors. I am excited...hopeful.

Now I am what you call a reverse-anorexic. Anorexic's look in the mirror and think they are fat, I look in the mirror and think I am skinnier than I really am. Until tonight.

I am standing in that dressing room, nekkid, struggling to shove my boobs and extra boobs, into the most uncomfortable pieces of material ever. Now, visualize if you will...225 pounds of raw fat, twisted into positions that honestly should be outlawed by some sort of fat police. Add the frustration (and pain) of not being able to get the bra around said fat, or if you do, having it overflow in the front or sides. It is not a pretty site.

So I pause, take a deep breath, look in the mirror. The tears come down. Even as I write, I can feel them forming. I am fat. I mean much fatter than I thought. I had roll after roll after roll. I started to get deeply depressed. I am embarassed for myself as I look at myself. Next to me is my daughter, blessed with the most beautiful, naturally tan body. We are standing side by side. She knows..can see and feel...that I am about to die. She says you are not fat mom. Yes, I am. And I wonder how my husband manages to find me attractive like this. I throw the bras in the pile and climb back into my fat clothes. I walk out and we go straight to the work out section. I grabbed capri work out pants, matching tank with built in bra and a black sports bra. I then walked over grabbed a pair of cross-trainers and some socks and head to the check out. $70 later and I am ready to go. I come home and put everything on and go to face my husband.

Ladies, he is the most wonderful man in the world. His face lights up when he sees me. Some might think it is his own ego bringing this reaction...oh yeah she is finally going to lose that weight. He smiles real big and says...you got new shoes...oh you needed those so much. Then he notices the work out tank with the built in bra and my hooters all perked up...and gets that horny look. He doesn't even see the fat. He finds me irresistable. He is always been there ready to jump my bones no matter what. He loves me no matter how I look. I kiss him and tell him what happened at the store and see his eyes moisten because he knows I was feeling bad. I just love him.

So thats it. It's done. I have to be able to face myself without embarassment. Funny thing that until tonight, I seldom have been embarassed. But my eyes saw what everyone else was seeing and well...it sucked ass.

I have found a new way to work out. The kids have a game, a new version of twister. I pulled it out yesterday and set it up for them to play. It looked fun so I joined them. It has all these dance steps that you have to follow. You might of seen something similiar on playstation or in the arcade. After two short...and I mean 10 seconds short...I was sweating! I can do a half hour on the bike before I sweat. And it was fun. So my new friend is Twister Moves.

There is my update. I am not going to be a stranger anymore. Thanks for you patience mom.

Gloomy Day--Gloomy Me!

Where is my day going? I am usually up early, drink my slimfast while checking my mail, and blogs, of course and then jump on the treadmill and walk for 30 minutes...well, i have had breakfast and lunch and still no treadmill. I am sooooooooooo lazy today!
The weather can't make up it's mind. It is raining one minute and dries out and somewhat sunny the next then it is hailing! Geez! No wonder I can't make up my mind what to do!
I have been eating good yesterday and today! Big hugs for all my support! Drank all my water yesterday and walked a mile and a half on the treadmill. I am thinkin' I just need to get my big hiney off this comfy chair and go walk! Water first then, off I go! See ya all later!

Cookies...Ice Cream...English Muffins!

Boy, I don't know what is wrong with me! I am doing the comfort food shuffle! First with the cookies yesterday and then today, I am just going from one comfort food to the next. I know I am doing it, but I can't seem to stop it. I have been doing so well too! I know I am extremely tired today. I haven't been sleeping well, and took too many tylenol pm last night and have been groggy all day. Wish somebody would stop me before I explode or something! That can't be a pretty sight!
So much for my Spring challenge, which was to watch my portions, continue to exercise, and start some kind of routine for my arms! Well, the challenge started on the 2oth! Let's see now, I binged on cookies, ate too many sugar free popsicles, (they are sugar free but 3 or 4 in one day is just wrong!) and now I have been happily munching down whole wheat muffins! Geeze Tari, way to watch those carbs! And I haven't started any exercises for my arms and didn't even walk today! I must be on strike! I hate it when I am rebelling against my own self- imposed healthy eating! I have not even had any water today...just enough to take my pills...gosh, I can't even believe how bad I am being! I am doing exactly everrything wrong! I am going to bed...this sucks!

How Many?

Well, I spent the day with my Mom today! Took in her groceries that I got for her yesterday, put all those away, took her to the bank and the pharmacy. Then we went to lunch! Did really good, resisted the big cheeseburger and fries, had the 1/2 deli turkey sandwich and a cup of home made soup. Then I took her to the eye doctor, back to the pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions, and to the nursery and finally back to her house. Got lots of exercise, lol! Now I only live about 15 minutes away from Mom, and I am ready to go and she gives me an open package of "Mother's chocolate sandwich cookies" to bring home to hubby ( the original cookie monster)! Now what was she thinkin'? I had my chance to put them in the trunk, but oh no...I had to put them right beside me so they were nice and close and I could smell how good they were! I had two out of the package as I was reversing the car! OMG They were so good! How many "Mother's chocolate sandwich cookies" can one eat in 15 minutes while driving? I have no idea! I lost count! Thank the good Lord that tomorrow is another day!

Spring is Here!

But where is it? The sun was shining today, but still a bit chilly out there! Come on flowers and trees. I am soooo ready!
Ok, on to the part I always dread! It's scale time! Yes, this is the end of the Love Handles Challenge! I have not weighed in 18 days. I have really increased my exercise to 30 minutes a day on the treadmill now. When I started I thought that if I ever got to 15 minutes a day, that I would stay there permanently. But when I had to make up some time for one day I missed, it really felt good and I have been doing 30 ever since. My leg muscles are shaping up again, now can someone give me some good ideas for my arms. I am so soooo scared of my abs just yet. I am not sure there are any stomach muscles in there at all. That will be a slow hard process!
Anyway...(insert drum roll here) Wow, I lost 2 pounds! I had some very bad eating during that time, think I was really struggling for awhile...seems to be getting better now! I am so glad to show a loss of any kind. I was a little bit afraid that I might have gained with the increase of exercise and the battle I was having with myself over my eating habits. I'll take it and be thankful!

Blogmad Rocks!

Wow, I just checked back on the past week's hits from blogmad...woo hoo! This defininately gets the traffic! I got 1295 hits in just one week! If you need an invite, just give me a yell in the comments! I'll make sure you get one!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

So it seems like on March 17th, Irish people come out of the woodwork! Can there really be that many? If you are really Irish...leave a comment and tell me about it! If not, have a great one! I am sure green beer has no calories!

They're Back!

A couple posts ago, I mentioned how bad I felt that I had missed my walking on the treadmill, for the first time, and that I was going to walk my 15 minutes twice the next day. Well, I did that and have been doing 30 minutes ever since. It actually feels good!

Funny thing is, when I was young, I used to love roller skating and my parents used to haul me clear across town two or three times a week to skate. My Mom used to skate in shows! I had the best legs muscles. I am not very tall and so all you really noticed were these muscles, lol! They didn't go away when I was at my smallest either.

Well I figured out how to make them go away...you live like a slug for man years and add crash diet attempts over the years and voila...just fat calfs, with no definition, just two blobs of fat!

Well, thanks to the treadmill, "They're Back". Now what do I do with the rest of me?

Breakfast Burrito Bananza

Whatchoo Need

· 1 98% fat-free soft whole wheat taco-size tortilla

· 5 egg whites (yes, five!) , or 2 eggs and 3 whites

· 1 - 2 tablespoons of your favorite salsa

· 1/4 cup 2% shredded cheddar cheese

· a handful (to your liking) of diced green, yellow, orange and red peppers (I buy the prechopped ones in a tub)

· same goes for the diced onion—however much you dig.

Spray some pam in the bottom of a wee skillet. Put your egg whites in a bowl, add the stuff (minus the cheese - or if you want the cheese in there, do that. Whatever blows your dress up). Swirl it around. Throw it in the skillet. Moosh it all up until it’s done cooking. Stuff it in a tortilla warmed in the microwave or however you warm ‘em. Eat. Burp. Ta da!

I got this recipe from another blog, just looked yummy for hungry mornings!

Tuesday Afternoon! Wasn't that a song in the 70's or late 60's?

Ok, I am doin better the last couple of days! Paying more attention to what I am fueling my body with! I did my 15 minutes on the treadmill and then did my second 15 minutes to compensate for Sunday! I know it was a new day and a clean slate but figured I could use it anyway! I walked for over 20 minutes today and feel pretty good and actually kinda energized. Actually got some stuff done. Wow! Thanks all for the encouragement! It really helps!

Boy am I ever glad the weekends over!

What is up with me and the weekends? I don't think this weighing once a month is a good thing! I have been on some kind of "Reckless Abandon" on the weekends! I am not dieting but, I definately am not even thinking about being too healthy on the weekends!

Gotta step back and rethink my strategy here. I know what I need to do, so why am I not doing it right now? I was still doing my exercise. Notice I said "was"? Yesterday I forgot to walk...arghhh! So today I need to do two 15 minute sessions on the treadmill! I can not let it slide, if I do I will be right back to slugville!

I could really use some words of encouragement here! I feel like I am sliding down that slippery slope that has the "golden arches" waiting invitingly at the bottom! Help!

Twinkle Toes on the Treadmill

Woo-hoo! I made my very first exercise goal! That is something I never thought I would hear in the same sentence, in reference to me anyway...(exercise & goal) I never made exercise goals because since I was in high school the only exercise I had was trying to deliver my kids! And two of them were c-sections! You get the picture!

I got my mom's treadmill set up in January and have walked on it every day since. I only started with 5 minutes and added a minute every week. Well yesterday I went to 11 minutes. That was great, but my goal was 15 minutes a day. I knew I was not walking to capacity but just needed to find a way to pass the time while walking. I have found that if I crank up the tunes, I can walk for longer. So today I decided to up my time to 15 minutes! It was great. I am feeling the workout, a little sore tonight, but I was yesterday also. I think it has more to do with the cement floors I was on most of the day yesterday while taking my Mom shopping. Or maybe I just got to the point where it is actually doing me some good! My legs are firming up (on the inside). They feel firmer, but the real flabby parts, you know all the spots that rub together when you walk...they are just kinda hanging there now. Kinda like they lost their support! So now they hang! Please tell me that these will eventually pack it up and leave home!

Survey Time

It's Wonderful Wednesday Ya'll! And ha ha, I didn't have to weigh! No pictures of scales to contend with! But I did find something to subject you to! Beings you usually get a chance to hear more about me on Wednesdays, probably because I am more vulnerable, I won't let you down...I got this sent to me in one of my groups!

This is for your entire life:

(x) Smoked a cigarette--only once, an old boyfriend told me I looked cheap!

(x) Drank so much you threw up --only once.
( ) Crashed a friend's car

( ) Stolen a car

(x) Been in love

(x) Been dumped

(x) Been laid off/fired/dormant company

(x) Quit your job

( ) Been in a fist fight

( ) Snuck out of your parent's house

(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back

( ) Been arrested

( ) Gone on a blind date

(x) Lied to a friend (white lie, of course)

(x) Skipped school

(x) Seen someone die

(x) Been to Canada

( ) Been to Mexico

(x) Been on a plane

(x) Been lost

( ) Been on the opposite side of the country

( ) Gone to Washington, DC

(x) Swam in the ocean

(x) Felt like dying

(x) Cried yourself to sleep

( ) Played cops and robbers

(x) Recently colored with crayons

( ) Sang karaoke

( ) Paid for a meal with only coins.. McDonald's count?

(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

(x) Made prank phone calls...

(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(x) Danced in the rain

(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about -

(x) Blown bubbles

(x) Made a bonfire on the beach

( ) Crashed a party

(x) Gone roller-skating

(x) Ice-skating

Any nicknames? rari deni poo, tari monster, riley monster, smiley, sunshine, onery, brat

Mother's name? Boby

What is your favorite drink? still mountain dew--even though I have not had one in 64 days (but who's counting?)

Tattoos? nope

Body piercing? my ears, first did them with an ice cube and a darning needle! ouch!

How much do you love your job? i (heart) my job! Too bad it is volunteer!

Birthplace: Vancouver, Washington

Favorite vacation spot? Cannon Beach

Ever been to Africa? nope

Ever steal any traffic signs? nope, thought about it when I was going with my first husband...his name was Joe and he lived on Joseph Road! But I would have made him do it!

Ever been in a car accident? yes

2 Door or 4 Door? 4 door

Salad dressing? basalmic vinegar

Favorite pie? banana cream

Favorite number? 2

Favorite movie? don't think I could ever pick.

Favorite holiday? Has to be Christmas

Favorite food? chicken or a good juicy, messy, sloppy hamburger, sunflower seeds

Favorite day of the week? Sunday

Favorite brand of body soap? dial

Favorite TV show? Lost, 24(they killed off Edgar--Can you believe it?), American Idol, E.R., Grey's Anatomy, House

Favorite smell? a little baby, or a puppy

What do you do to relax? snuggle with hubby and animals (our mini zoo) Spend time with my family, kids/grandkids

Message to your friends reading this? Miss ya lots, let's do something!

How do you see yourself in 10 years? debt free (one can hope) and eating healthy in better shape than I am now

What do you do when you are bored? play on the puter

Furthest place you will send this message? who knows, it is going on my blog

Who will respond the fastest? my daughter

Least likely to respond? dunno

What time is it now?8:55 eek! gotta pick mom up at 9:30--bye!

That's all for now folks!

Do you want the "good news" or the "bad news" first?

Well, which is it? Ok, you got it!

The bad news: I watched my four lovely grandaughters on Friday night so that my daughter and son-in-law could go spend the night away from home for their anniversary...No kids! No this is not the bad news! But...
My daughter, yes our very own, "fat chick" sabotaged my healthy eating! She brought home...slumber party food! Yep, you guessed it...CHOCOLATE, and rootbeer floats! Can you believe she would do that to me? She didn't like that I was only 6 1/2 pounds behind her! Little brat! So, of course I had to partake in the goodies! And then Saturday, we had to go see my grandaughter on her birthday...Oh no! Another teenager! Of course there was chips and bean dip and nacho cheese dip. I only had 3 chips with dip but, was so hungry when we left we went to the chinese buffett! How yummy was that? And I even had ice cream! Sunday I got up all bloated from the MSG etc. Then had my cookies at church and a potluck Sunday Night! Boy am I glad the week end is over! It will take me 3 weeks to get back to where I was.

The good news: I did my measurements this morning! I lost a total of 9" this month and actually gained 3/4" in my calves. All the walking is helping, I guess!

Had to run over to my daughter's this am to stay with 3 sick ones while she picked up our oldest grandaughter from school. Got on her bike and rode 2 miles while I was there. Think I put a little too much resistance on it. I am a wimp! Now I got spaghetti legs. Time for my treadmill, gotta run!

Sooooo Bad!

I was concerned that I was making the almighty scale my own personal God and giving it control over my life...so I did the sensible thing and decided I would not weigh until I have to... which would be on March 19th, (the last day of winter) the day that "the love handles" challenge is over. Makes sense right? Please tell me it does! Well I thought so too! NOT!

You all know what happens on the day you weigh in...that night is your "free from guilt night"! You still have all week, two weeks or month to compensate for it! Right? Are ya with me here? Well, when I said I wasn't gonna weigh until March 19th...I am finding that I am giving myself permission for lots of guilt free meals/snacks! Oh...my tendancy is to really go off the deep end! There has to be a happy medium here somewhere! Well, where is it then? If left to my own devices I will eat pretty much whatever I want for the next 10 days and then be good for the last week, hoping that the scale will be reflect some loss anyway!

I can't seem to get my head and my heart to line up with all my many curves, lumps, bumps, and bulges to understand that I am talking myself out of eating healthy and changing my lifestyle! I wish it was as easy to talk myself into things as it is to talk myself out of things.

I would talk myself into;

• getting up earlier
• fixing a healthy breakfast, with some protein (whether I feel like I am hungry or not)
• getting on my treadmill BEFORE I get on the computer
• drinking more water
• having a morning snack
• fixing a nutritous lunch(whether I am at home or at work)
• being more active
  
• limiting my computer time...even the time devoted to work stuff
• having a healthy low calorie afternoon snack
  
• planning, making and serving a healthy, tasty dinner for myself and my husband
• only putting the correct serving size on my plate
• bagging leftovers into individual serving sizes for lunch or the freezer (before sitting down to eat)
• doing something productive in the evening which does not involve the tv or the computer
• going to bed earlier

Sounds good, doesn't it? Can somebody just hypnotize me? There has got to be a painless way to do this!

One for the Road!

Just a quick note this morning...I lost one more pound...barely! I am officially in the 220's!

Like I said in my last post, I am now on a scale break. Yes, me and the scale are parting company until March 19th, when we will come back together for a brief encounter. After that, I am not sure what our schedule will look like. I have to confer with my partner in crime.

Sense of Impending Doom!

For some strange reason I seem to be dreading getting on the scale more and more each week, even though I have been doing pretty good! I have lost every week but one! I don't understand this feeling of impending doom! Personally, I think I am putting too much stock in what the scale says and letting it decide whether I am successful or not!

I think I need to fall back and regroup a little! I am starting to loosen up my eating a little more than I would like. And I can't seem to control my portions like I know I need to. I think I am going to take a scale break, after tomorrow, until the 19th of March which ends my love handles challenge. That will give me almost 3 weeks to concentrate on what I am doing and not to worry about the scale. I will still measure on the 4th as scheduled.